God, her face is fucking terrible.

Not gonna lie: I would probably have sex with Jon Lovitz if I had like 3 glasses of wine to prepare, and he paid me. /honesty

That girl is 12?? Is that a typo? Not 22?

I don’t think my husband would have cared if I kept my last name, but I was kind of excited by the idea of getting to change my name. It went from a somewhat unusual last name to a really generic one. But I was an idiot, and when we eloped and filling out the marriage liscence at City Hall, I for some weird reason…

Grossest looking creepy boyfriend award goes to fucking Tyga.

My sister and I saw it in theaters when it came out and it’s still our best memory of hanging out with each other ever.

No one needs to eat a giant bag of dicks while getting run over by a Jeep more than this guy does. Second is George Zimmerman.

Also, isn’t her idiot husband like millions of dollars in debt? Even bigger eye roll, now.

Such a gigantic eye roll whenever a celebrity (or really any rich person, for that matter) brags about how much money they’re making and uses it as an “insult”.

TRIGGER WARNING:

That is so awful. I’m so sorry.

I hate her, too. This clip just fuels my distaste for her. She keeps doing something stupid with her mouth, and she obviously memorized like 4 things to say and just shouts/screams them. I’m not impressed.

I flat out refuse to use Uber, especially here in San Francisco where it’s just nightmare story on top of nightmare story. I just can’t support this company, and am fine with dealing with shitty Muni and Bart to get around until I move away (FINALLY!) in August. The one other time i’ve used Lyft in the bay area, I got…

lol ok, guy

That’s pretty awesome. I’m looking at Japan (been there twice already) or leaning toward England or Ireland, where I can speak the language. It’s not hard to get around Japan if you aren’t fluent in Japanese, Kyoto and Nagoya are a little different, but generally Japan is a fucking awesome place to travel.

This needs a thousand more stars. This is how I feel every time I think too much about the election and politics in general.

I was going to comment on this to go on and on about things that I probably shouldn’t. All i’ll say is marriage is terrible. It’s just not that great.

Wait, what the fuck? What is this? Is it a mashed Japanese potato? Is it like a rubber mat or something? What does that taste like?