[guy has never seen UFC before]

That's dumb, and not the way the law works in that situation at all. He got his ass kicked because he was caught mid-assault, and no jury in the world would convict the nephew for defending his girlfriend (and then some). Charging the nephew with assault would be contrary to the law, which allows you to reasonably…

Guys, remember the law does word things in ways that neccessarily reflect our vernacular or emotions associated with said crime. "Criminal sexual conduct in the first degree" is a pretty big fucking deal in South Carolina. It's not like they wrote him a jaywalking ticket:

Team Idina.

Uh, Rebecca Imma let you finish but this is the best buzzfeed quiz of all time :

It reminds me of that one Crichton book where he made a journalist he didn't like into a child molestor with a small penis, because he was a gigantic manbaby who could not handle disappointment

Good news is that the UPD and Tallahassee PD are investigating, so the criminals will be brought swiftly to justice.

MEANWHILE LEBRON JAMES CRIES AT FUNERALS

I've lived in Europe for 25 years and it cracks me up every time someone (young, old, left, right) stoutly declares that they aren't racist, "just" xenophobic.

He just got picked off, too.

In related news, Jell-O announced it was taking vanilla pudding off the market.