alastormoody
Mad eye
alastormoody

RUN AWAY. buy a fake ring on the way and pretend you are married to a Russian oligarch. DO NOT GET BACK TOGETHER

Not that you asked, but I can’t resist an opportunity to share the Corgi.

Have you always been a psychopath?

The historicity of Jesus is pretty well established.  Whether you believe he is the son of god is an entirely different matter. 

But if the Muslims know Jesus as a prophet, wouldn’t he still be #1 as he pulls in both the Christian and Muslim world? Also, making Jesus a prophet of his religiom was a genius move by Muhammed. 

I would actually kind of love it if this became the “Al Capone tax evasion” of the Trump administration. If manage to dodge all the accusations of obstruction but end up in prison for throwing a shitty, expensive party, it would have a certain poetic grace.

Prepping for the next democratic debate.

No worries mate you’re a right shelia , just say “A Dingo ate my map” , something something shrimp on the Barbie.

Lots of people give unsavory people more chances than they deserve. It’s hard to reason your way out of being in love with someone.

What I wouldn't give to be the jam in that sandwich

He has his own money and fame though. 

She can’t not be the center of attention.

I don’t know why Tulsi looks so glum. I would eat the hell out of some deep fried avocados! 

You should have kings instead. Not the modern kind, because they pander to the public too, but the medieval kind that were more “oh, you don’t like what I have to say? Well how do you like having your head separated from your body?"

He doesn’t have to remain married to Miley Cyrus, who seems like genuinely one of the more obnoxious and entitled child stars in her generation, so I’d say he’s going to be OK after his wounded pride heals.

I feel like Michelle Pfeiffer has been insulted.  I mean, GP is attractive and all, but she's no Michelle.

I love the fact that the day she announces her split, there are 100's of “paparazzi” photos of her making out with Carter. On the heels of that interview as well. 

Yesterday at the dog park a woman pointed out that whenever my hound bays her butthole flares. She kept insisting I look. I told her I'd take her word for it. But then everyone kept talking about it so I told them to stop staring at my dog's butthole. Someone suggested I get her an eye patch, another person said it