It would help if we didn't make it insanely expensive to raise a child who might be economically independent in the future, but hey, fuck universal healthcare, amirite?

At one point, she asked if he would consider quitting his job to be a stay-at-home father given how much he wanted a baby. "That just wasn't the plan he had in mind," she said.

Honestly, cats kind of do fix everything (for me anyway). I don't like having meltdowns around people (or talking about my meltdowns and acknowledging they happened, which is why I haven't posted any stories about any of them on this topic), so I've never had a person really make me feel better when I'm breaking down.…

TBF, Ferris Bueller is an essential Chicago movie and you were well within your rights.

I'm the person at the party who's always very aware of the cat situation and if they are allowed outside or not. At my friend's birthday party last NYE we were at her house and I knew the cats weren't allowed outside.

Clearly I was the asshole, not her.

Please tell me you sued the See-You-Next-Tuesday for malpractice.

I don't really have a lot of meltdowns, but one good one was when I really, really wanted to watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This was in like, 2009. I really wanted to show my boyfriend the movie because I love it and we lived in Chicago and I just love shit about Chicago. Well, my VHS player (yeah) wasn't working. I…

One of my biggest fears is that one of my cats will sneak out an open door or window of my house (we live next to a busy street and near a mountain reserve full of hungry coyotes). One night we had a party where people were going in and out a lot. Once the party ended and everyone drunkenly went to bed, I did a final…

Eighth grade: my class is putting on some stupid play for our religion class and I'm doing the costumes because 1) I'm known for that kind of thing and 2) I'm not popular enough to be in the play, or have friends. While working in the "wings" (eh, poor school, shitty facilities), three classmates come back and decide…

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

I'm normally a very nice person who values politeness and kindness- until this one day. I had just moved from a pedestrian-friendly city to one that required a car, and was still adjusting to car culture when I got really sick and had to go to the doctor. The office was in one of the busiest areas of the city, and I…

This series by the Times and Hardy — which should win a Pulitzer — is going to lead, I believe, to a very very quick change in that law. It has to. This. Shit. Is. Fucked.

I love this! Late one night I caught my mom-this was many years ago-playing Wolfenstein and screaming, "FUCK YOU, NAZI BASTARDS! I'M COMING FOR ALL OF YOU!" I burst out laughing, and she was all, "What? I like video games. Now you know!" Best moment of my young adult life.

I say really sarcastic things to commercials. Out loud. Like full out mocking them. And then I laugh, because I'm hilarious. It's really tragic.

I'm recently divorced and living alone for the first time ever. It's AMAZING. My ex husband was super critical and I am experiencing freedom like I've never known.

Okay, I can understand your aversion to our fabulous pizza because of your strange feelings regarding tomatoes, but DO NOT disparage the Chicago style hotdog. I've been stuck in Wisconsin for the last 20 years where no one can get it right and it's impossible to find sports peppers.

My mom (from Ireland) brought a thermos of coffee to some church event in Chicago, and no one drank any of it. She couldn't figure out why, until she remembered that at the beginning of the day someone asked her, "Is it Irish coffee?" and she said, "Well, I made it, so I guess so!" Bless her heart.

Anyone who tells kids to "ignore them and they'll go away" clearly was never bullied. Ignoring them just makes them try harder. I was bullied by a girl a year younger than me, and channeling my inner stoic ONLY MADE HER WORSE. She ended up tripping me while we were running laps in the parking lot for volleyball,…

Oh, fuck this. I'm guessing he was being bullied at his school and the adults couldn't be bothered to do anything to rein in the little shits, just like it was when I was a kid. The excuses were always, "oh, they need to work it out themselves," or "oh, honey, just ignore them, they're jealous," or other bullshit…