Maybe Trump will order up another Tomahawk strike. ‘Cause he really loved that fuckin’ chocolate cake.

All the other world leaders are playing chess, Trump just bought a dog and named it Checkers.

It’s funny.

In other headlines, SS Titanic’s captain orders new, better deck chairs. The problem isn’t your staff, Donnie. Find a mirror — I’m sure you have a mirror — and gaze longingly into it. That’s where the problem lies. It doesn’t matter who your advisers or mouthpieces are. You ignore advice and undercut your…

Oh please goddess this is the best case scenario. It’s starting in fits and starts but God I cannot wait til they really turn on each other.

Holy sweet baby Jesus! So true, and I’ve never put that thought together before. I used to work for a narcissist, and while I eventually ended up on the shit list, when she praised me it felt amazing. Although the praise was always delivered in direct reference to her, as in, “I am beaming!” when I did something well.…

THE GOP HUNGER GAMES ARE STARTING

Guilfoyle?

Good.

This train wreck of a presidency is devolving into theatre of the absurd.

I can’t wait to see the final one after he gets gassed...*scene- Melissa/Spicy in a jacuzzi getting blown by a $5000 an hour hooker and doing lines off of anothers ass while signing a book deal worth $7million and eating a Big Mac served on a monogramed plate stolen from the White House. The euphoria of on her/his…

If you believe Louise Mensch, sealed indictments have been issued. If she’s lying about this stuff or simply talking out of her ass because she’s going off bad intel, it’s going to be soooooo disappointing. She must realize how much we are counting on Drumpf to quit under pressure or, even better, live the rest of his…

Can Bannon get fired please pretty please.

I’m more upset about the idea of no more Melissa McCarthy skits.

Good for you. Seriously. Because stories like this give me hope for my own life. I’m still working towards this, but have made some significant progress. A lot of this has just come with age, though. Like, I do think I’m officially beyond the point of not giving a f%ck, which has been a huge break-through. Like, you…

I’ll reply to you, not the Ingrid Newkirk-wannabe original poster. Some animals like to work and get weird if you don’t give them anything to do, so they find jobs for themselves. I have a very loyal black Lab who has decided that his job is to remain within three feet of me at all times. Being a retriever, he also…

Riding a little horse the 1/3 mile between gates would be nice. It’d even be...theraputic.

Therapy house hippos?

Where in the fuck were these horses when I was getting hauled off the plane in full panic attack?

Toronto: step up your game. I want horses.

Do they repeatedly kick you in the head until you are knocked out? Because if not I will stick to serious pills.