They put on a Reds uniform, fell asleep, and then shit the bed?

Why is there a promo for the new Michael J. Fox show in the comments?

No one who speaks German could be an evil man.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2013-14 Charlotte Bobcats/Orlando Magic highlights.

I see it in his eyes. I see it in his eyes.

As a middle-aged man with a relatively happy house hold - nice wife, children still in the house, my life has lost a lot of its excitement. My kids are great and all - love taking the daughter out to her soccer games and even to the mall. My son, however, is a different story. Always holed up in the house, no…

Speaking of. His use of the N word is objectively terrible. But I'm pissed people focus on its use and not the fact that he offered to beat black people just for existing in the wrong spot. That's way worse.

Haha, that's great. First chuckle I got from this article and it comes from a commenter making an Onion reference. Keep it up DadBoner!

"Answer the question, Mr. Pleasants! Are you, or are you not, quote - a 'n00b b1tch lollllllllz learn2play'?!?"

Well isn't that Precious.

You'd never see fans reading at an Oakland Raiders game.

Holy crap you two.

Okay, okay, now my new favorite slugger is Domonic Brown.

Fortunately for Kevin, tattoo artists carry The Chicago Manual of Style for just this kind of thing.

A buddy of mine's brother dropped this one, sending the needle across the record in pants-shitting fashion:

Classy stuff. Here's hoping to another playoff run next year.

Hyman?

He's right. I mean, Rosa Parks was just some nobody from Alabama, couldn't they have found someone more prominent to refuse to go to the back of the bus?