You both made such well stated and elegant arguments, I cannot decide who to agree with. I upvoted you both and wish youd shake on it and call a truce, then beome besties. I see this ending well.

I am so confused as to why this 6 yr old item is on the most read list right now.

I work in substance abuse counseling at an adult outpatient and a high school. Not sure which is worse: the kids who are incapable of taking eyes off a screen, even when sitting in your office speaking to you or walking through halls, or the grown-ass men who are whiny and pouty (and often thrown out of group) because…

I rescued a stupid box turtle trying to cross the Long Island Expressway a few years ago. I had no way of moving him across 8 lanes of high=speed traffic so I brought him w/ me to drop off at the local turtle rescue. Long story short I ended up keeping him for a year, naming him George, in my yard, in the garden (he…

Heres a suggestion: HORSESHOE CRABS. Much more enjoyable. And blue blood.

I had a hermit crab for my kids that got GIGANTIC. It eventually moved into a giant neon-day-glo-rainbow shell we'd been using for decoration, a large like conch shell that seemed so big she'd barely be able to move it. Eventually she was fine and got used to it, but holy fuck was it funny watching it drag a shell 1/2…

My Beta lasted 6 years. Even better were the snails I got for the tank. Every few months they'd lay eggs all over and we'd wait to see them hatch and they wouldn't ever hatch. Then one night I came into the kitchen to find a trail of water across my kitchen counter. I followed it across the room, down the counter,…

In fairness, don't think they were looking to kill anyone, just take back the "wounded teenager" they believed was being held against her will and forced to do drugs. Wow, that sounds even more ridiculous when I typed it out. Never mind. Fukc those guys. (In fairness, the one guys teen daughter OD'd fatally 4 mos ago.…

Is this a Romanian gypsy thing, using "adn" and "udner" instead of and and under? Is that how these weird-ass Romanian losers talk? I get it! HAHAHAHA!~

no, i hate doing "work parties"" too. I had to bring "dessert" to a party celebrating the boss getting a promotion to a higher-level boss yesterday. Are you fuking joking? Do you know how much money this person makes compared to the counselors and support staff at a nonprofit? I have to go spend an hour or two of my…

Hi, Morgendorffer, this is Elaine from HR. Please refrain from saying "F—- you people" when speaking of your coworkers. We just want you to come and bring some cole slaw please! And please, Marty is VERY self-conscious about his weight issue, so refrain from calling him a "fat fuck" again or we will need to make a…

THE AV CLUB
…judgemental asshat…

NPR did a story on it and the economic expert explained he can actually turn a profit on his loaning-his-campaign moves. Classic Drumpf.

I read somewhere that like 40,000 people die of shower falls each year, and now my fat ass moves like a CDC worker holding live Ebola virus everytime I want to wash my feet or whatever. Jesus, how awful would that be, to be found dead in my shower by my family.

Ugh, Mondays, amirite???

He helped raise her from a very young age. If that's not a father/daughter- or even stepdaughter/stepfather relationship- then ok, but outside of gonzo porn that makes you feel a little icky, that's generally a "NO F*CKING" type relationship. "Legal age" is not what I recall the allegations. I could be wrong, or just…

Good cancer diagnosis, if one could say that. It could have been much worse, right? Ugh. Now you're a Survivor and can tell everyone forever how you beat cancer. I had it when I was 11, Hodgkin's Disease, and went thru chemo/radiation 2x each, over the course of 2-3 years. Royally fuct up my life and psyche for a long…

I'm so conflicted about Mr. Allen, I constantly have that gut-punch reaction: "How could all these people work w/ a man who clearly molested his teen aged adopted daughter, then married her, after likely molesting some of his other children?" Then I tell myself, AJ, you have NO IDEA what really happened, and in…

I go by "AJ" most of the time (its the bad side of my dual personality, when I'm "Adam" i'm a professional counselor w/ a family and wife, when I'm "AJ" I'm the deviant poker-playing screenwriter w/ no worldly attachments.) but years ago at my weekly poker game someone heard it as "AJAX" and they've called me that…

No, no, no, you've said not even close to enough. Please, continue. What happens next, after the loud spanking? I'm asking for clinical research reasons, of course.