upvoted for first paragraph, ashamed and humiliated after reading the last part and thinking I played some role in commending you for that. I wish suffering on no one, even the bad guys.

and he'd never be found guilty, and the unions would never even allow that he might have done something wrong. In NYC we had a cop kill a dude sitting on the stairs in his own building a year or two ago- he was patrolling w/ his gun drawn, finger on the trigger, and "accidentally" shot a guy sitting w/ his girlfriend…

fun fact: Pigs actually don't like mud, they prefer to be very clean. They only roll in mud because they cannot sweat and it cools them off. Most pigs would rather be clean and cool and will actually arrange their homes/pens w/ things in neatly placed order and avoid dirt and mud. THE MORE YOU KNOW!
(Note: I was…

As of the end of 2010, 53% of the entire 34,526-member police force were white and 47% were members of minority groups. Of 22,199 officers on patrol, 53% (11,717) were black, Latino (of any race), or Asian or Asian-American, and 47% (10,482) were non-Hispanic white. Of 5,177 detectives, 57% (2,953) were white and 43%…

I know a few cops. Some are friends but I consider them poor examples of the types I'd want as police. Some are not friends and are great police. The good ones- the guys (and girl) I trust- are all for cameras. The sketchier ones- the ones I'd not want to be pulled over by at 3 am on a dark road? They think the…

OH my god, I totally forgot my college-girlfriend, who used to make us do the sex stuff in the elevator of my old NYC building in the wee hours of morning. We'd ride it to the top floor- 18, I think- then hit for the basement and go at it, and if anyone hit a call button on the way down, she'd refuse to stop until the…

um, this story just keeps getting better and better. From a critical analysis point, I mean.

I used to live in NYC and had a beautiful young woman across my apartment complex (the building had an internal courtyard, so our windows faced our neighbors) who used to move her bed to the middle of the room and open all the shades and turn on the lights for her solo exhibitions. She would spend a few mins nude in…

I used to drive an ice cream truck on Long Island and once picked up a hitchhiker dude and his GORGEOUS model-hot girlfriend on 4thofJuly holiday weekend, who offered me 200 bucks to drive them from East Hampton to Montauk in the truck at 2 am on a Saturday night. (I refused the first offer- 100 dollars- but dude, 200…

yeah, I'm having the whole "have fun/enjoy the day" plan w/ Hawaiian shirts, shorts, great music w/ some old happy tunes and some jazz, a sundae bar, and movies/my favorites playing. Also the body will have already been donated to science or The Body Farm so everyone will know I'm not even really there.

And now its become like a sick, twisted sport, of hunting you and killing everytime you say ANYTHING now. For quotes, content, anger, replies…you have become the "Most Dangerous Game" of THE AV CLUB today.
(See, that was in quotes because of the actual "MDG" being a real thing and I'm calling you that, etc.)

worse than cancer

maybe we do….

DAD: Oh, honey, I cant believe Bill is dying of sarcomma or whatever awful type of cancer he has.
MOM: I know, husband, its just…too much. Lets go see what those fucking idiot commentators on THE AV CLUB have to say about our situation.
DAD: WELL I NEVER!
MOM: EGADS HOW DARE THEY!

But listen to that word- SARLACCOMA! its got comedy gold written all over it.

about once a week I worry "if I die today I won't know how THE AFFAIR ends, or who dies on WALKING DEAD, or how FARGO will end this year". I live a pretty-death-obsessed life, I suppose.
(EDIT: Yes, I know we/no one cares how WD will end. Just an example.)

I had cancer and I think this line of jokes and replies is rather funny. (TO PROVE: Hodgekins Disease, age 11-14, 1988-91, chemo/radiation/surgery, still have major complications from that as an adult in thyroid problems and abdominal issues.) If I was dying of cancer, and asking to see STAR WARS early, and getting…

As a strong atheist w/ a lot of strong Irish Catholic relatives I'm not sure what I think here. Part of me wants to say, I would fight that til my dying breath. The other part of me says you're exactly right- as an atheist its not so much a worry about what is going to happen to me shortly, so maybe I give the ones…

If you've read anything by Steven in the past, I dunno, 45 years, you'd know- he hasn't a bloody fucking clue what's going to happen in the ending, and usually just goes "Uh, and then it was over! Or an alien! Or something else!" and ends his stories/books insanely poorly. 97% great….3% ending. That's why he couldn't…

One of my close friends from high school got into a one-year long romantic/sexual relationship w/ my childhood hero- Weird Al Yankovic. They actually almost moved in together, and she broke up w/ him. She was 18 at the time; he was 35. I never got anything more than stories from her- no Xmas card forwards, no candid…