I’m not sure if Square wants this to actually succeed so they can continue to pretend they’re still in their glory days from twenty years ago or this is a desperate cry for help saying “We don’t want to keep making FFVII! Please stop us!”

Square’s midlife crisis made manifest

It’s not even just the plot holes, the logical leaps, or deus ex machina, it’s the fact that the game doesn’t really have a central theme. Seriously, what IS the thesis of FFVIII’s story? IV was about a man redeeming himself after a lifetime of serving an empire (i.e. it’s never too late to redeem yourself), VI was an…

VIII’s problem is that it literally has no story. No one in it has an arc, and there’s no theme to really tie everything together. It tries to be a “love story”, but because Squall is a selfish dickhead who treats everyone like crap and Rinoa is just a trophy with zero agency, it’s really retrograde. It’s a bunch of…

And that’s pretty pathetic; for as clownish as I’ve found the villains post-FFVII could be, I can still generally remember their names.

Like I said, Kitase is a guy who has a seriously skewed worldview. He seems to think FFVII is a traditional RPG despite the whole point of it being a massive deconstruction of a lot of RPG tropes. It’s no wonder he doesn’t get that maybe going for a guy like Basch would garner surprise results.

In all honesty, they probably just used Vagrant Story as an excuse because they have a patronizing view of the franchise. Kitase has convinced himself that there’s a “traditional” Final Fantasy when in fact the whole point of the franchise had been to try new things, experiment, and explore new concepts, worlds,…

And somewhere the director of XIII is going “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY GENIUS!!”

I hate 8 because the main character treats everyone like trash and is never called out on his bullshit. Also doesn’t help that the female lead has no arc other than being a prize to be won by the main character.

Top ten:

This is not good for 2K (even if the Housers are dickheads)

“PLEEEEEEEASE THROW ME IN JAIL!”

Good, stay angry, the GOP hates it when people fight back (see the 2018 massacre they encountered). And if you encounter some crybaby whining “But it’s rigged! They’re just too good!” promptly slap them, tell them to stop feeling sorry for themselves, and fucking drag them to the polls. If you truly want an end to…

You can take off your tinfoil hat

The sad part is this won’t shut up conspiracy theorists who insist we’re getting a “Switch Pro” any day now. Tech junkies need to learn what design is

Yes, because Nomura is a terrible storyteller and a worse leader. And the thing is, it’s not even all that crazy. This is fucking pedestrian when it comes to mind-bendy twists. Everything can seem weird when you’re just throwing out stuff randomly with no context

Ninja Theory’s existence; trying desperately to be taken seriously only to have people make dick jokes at their expense.

And we’re getting SIX MORE FUCKING DLC CHARACTERS

Ahem: headlines like this are part of the problem. Stop it

Except Dexit didn’t want to hear that; they didn’t want to think about the human cost and instead just kept stamping their feet. Fuck ‘em