Your suspension is four times as long if you’re caught abusing footballs.

I would have stayed up, knowing that in ten more minutes I could hit that morphine pump again.

preach it my friend. bartman did nothing fucking wrong — he reached for a ball that was coming toward him which is literally what every fan would do and can she tell i’m looking at her pictures on facebook even though we aren’t friends and WHY MARISSA WHY YOU WERE THE ONE!!!!

But what if she’s been thinking about me this whole time?!

Hard pass. It’s a reddit thread where they reference Jezebel as a source. Offending a specific set of feminists who live to be offended is fun for everyone. They get to be angry, I get to troll. This isn’t a take from your average woman. This is a take from a vocal minority of people who like to change the definition…

Also a noun. At least websters says so.

Finally a pro scout recognizes Tebow as a quarterback.

I can’t even make a pun one person can enjoy, let alone one that forty love.

Why would Tebow collect things he never uses?

Yes, more citizens should kindly step over siezing individuals, if for no other reason than to remain humble.

I’m liberal as fuck, but I wish there was more oompf to that performance. Albeit, I think she’s trying to play out the clock and let Trump Cleveland Browns himself into a defeat

The returner did Nazi her coming.

If he didn’t want to be tackled by her, he shouldn’t have been dressed like that

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

Title NEIN

He better Echeck himself before he Ewrecks himself

It appears Trump goes directly to third. Third and a tic tac.

less weird than how trump ends up on third

Everyone knows Cardinal fans are the worst. The rest is just semantics.

You weren’t by chance at Illinois State at that time, were you? They had us all gathered in the quad with the Blo-No police on a megaphone saying go back to your rooms...I may have screamed “take it to the streets” while drunk and shirtless, wielding a broom, and caused a stampede. We made it all the way to 55.