The distance from Liverpool to Manchester is the same as the distance from Houston to still inside Houston.

I care about geography a lot, so I spent a lot of time learning where things in Britain were in books and movies and history and such. Then I realized that the Brits have an overinflated sense of geography. On an American scale, England consists of London, Birmingham, and Manchester. Everything else is just suburbs…

It was as ’80s as Spuds Mackenzie snorting cocaine off a Patrick Nagel illustration of the entire Vanity 6 lineup voting for Ronald Reagan.

Who, me?

And she and Papa Doc are raising a Baby Doc! Tune in next week for the premiere of the new wacky Duvalier family comedy, President For Life!

Or second marriage, or adoption, or any number of things. It's not really worth speculating about.

No, that's the other America. That's my point.

Oh hell yes.

I do, and I don't think the residents of New York or Chicago get to decide what a frickin' hot dog is. Mayo, relish, and onions, baby, this is America and you can't stop me.

I'm pretty sure Dikachu made an "….. OF CAUCUS" joke around here just a few weeks ago, so that joke is definitely low-hanging fruit.

The Kia ad was baffling. My first reaction was that the least they could do was pick a color besides white. But I just checked, and the Kia Optima doesn't come in any interesting colors, just beiges, shades of gray, and red.

Come on, honey… let's make us a little '49er tonight.

I don't think we should all be clutching our pearls in mock outrage over a commercial that romanticizes crime, but it is true that if that commercial had featured Wallace, Poot and D'Angelo stealing a white lady's Prius, it would not have worked.

Aha! That's actually super clever, but I didn't get the reference.

I dunno, that ad kinda made me realize that no, there really isn't anything America can agree on anymore. Not even beer.

Also, that you should fight The Man by buying a TV from a trillion-dollar international electronics conglomerate.

No, it's okay to steal from the Man, but if they steal from some random black dude they lose the audience's sympathy. (Was the Prius owner somebody I should recognize?)

SICARIO SPOILERS:
I think you've totally misread Sicario. Both del Toro and Brolin are evil sons of bitches, and Brolin's foreign policy agenda is the worst sort of morally bankrupt realpolitik. I don't think the movie comes down on his side at all.

SICARIO SPOILERS:
No, Brolin's character can't get his hands dirty. If anyone finds evidence that Blunt's death wasn't a suicide (DNA, a witness, whatever), it needs to point back across the border, not to someone in the US government. And del Toro's character has a motivation to make sure the paperwork runs…

SICARIO SPOILERS:
What good would that have done? The story would have ended exactly the same, except she'd be dead.