Nope. I’ve got to get to work, Duckface. I say you do 30 days in County and have to watch while we delete your social media profile and then destroy your phone.

Can you snap a poorly lit selfie right there in the booth with your ballot all filled out?

Matching gold jewelry, check.
Mackelmore haircut, check.
Bar fight on TMZ, check.

Do lots and lots of blow. It’s the one time of year nobody suspects a thing. May as well take advantage of it.

Dear Bride,

Wow, please wake up. The internet and social media are single-handedly ruining the world.

The internet is a neutral medium. It’s people who are terrible.

“Corn holin’”

I don’t know if the Thunder have the bench to truly make a run at Golden State or San Antonio in a seven game series, but I think that possibility isn’t quite as distant as it seems.

“We’re talking about celebrity stuff, not politics.”

I’m a 2nd semester med student and it was real blow to all of us during our respiratory course when we learned that there are no studies that have been able to significantly associate any one type of diet or food behaviors to the prevention of cancers of any kind. It was a hard day that day.