You're making the exact same mistake every single person involved in that film's production did: In not recognising that the without the actual "playing of game" part, Assassin's Creed is a batshit stew of something that could be described as "fun", but never as "a coherent story".

Like what?

It's been 20 years or so since the first video game adaptation. Hollywood really should have figured out by now that it's not happening.

That's kind of like when I was wee and I asked my mum for The Jungle Book (because I had a cassette tape of all the songs) and in the tradition of all not particularly wealthy single parents she came up with some off brand knock-off version with no songs and a ginger Mowgli.

"but will bend heaven and earth to excuse Polanski and will buy Allen's assertion that he never touched Sun Yi until she was of age." [citation needed]

Why turn this into a race thing, dude? Hasn't this place similarly decided that Brad Pitt beats children, Woody Allen fucks them and Michael Fassbender shouldn't be left alone in a room with a woman?

Episode #367 of "AV Club commenters decide they don't need to bother waiting for the results of trials to judge people".

"Cool. The pilot wasn't as good as I'd hoped"

In a statement, Hart says that he thinks The Black Man’s Guide To History is “an important program for our country right now,” and that he hopes people will “laugh and learn a bit too.”

This only makes the slightest bit of sense if your country is a gigantic pulsating war erection.

Too fucking accurate.

Pro tip: You can very efficiently judge the quality of your date's oral pleasure capability by closely examining how they eat fufu and ocra soup.

Anyone who is actually making money from music merits a custom model.

Judging from this article, they still don't.

What the fuck? I thought he was dead.

Slightly coincidentally - I've recently moved TO A BIGGER HOUSE and consequently took the opportunity to liberate some stuff from storage. I found a DVD of Ghost in the Shell and thought, "Okay, I haven't watched this since I was 16 or something - time to find out whether it actually makes sense now!"

Even more correct in this instance: "Who gives a shit? Get a grip."

Can you make a compelling case for why anyone should be excited about the 6th (or whatever) Wolverine movie?

Tesco's Twitter sent me here.

"I don't buy into the distraction theory for four reasons:
(1) He tweets stupid inflammatory shit basically everyday."