"But I'm gonna hold off on commenting until we know the facts."

The split was so sudden because… you're not actually their friend, or a member of their family, or someone who remotely knows the couple.

"I never said it was the same as actually experiencing it"

Cept we're not talking about highlights here, we're talking about a lifeless description of jokes as opposed to the actual experience of having those jokes delivered in the format they were intended. You haven't gained any insight or knowledge, you've basically just prevented yourself from ever being able to enjoy…

You were so eager to embark on your victory lap over the clever turnaround you think you just pulled off, that you've literally done the same thing here as in your first post.

You are no more getting highlights of this video than you would understand a Van Gogh painting from me saying "It is a picture of a flower in a vase".

Pro Tip for AV Club editors: When posting a video clip - not really that necessary to describe everything that happens in the video clip. I've clicked the link, you can assume I'll just watch that shit.

This is literally the first time I've seen Clinton talk since the electioneering began, so I think you're wrong.

Where am I going to go now for my fix of "crone sitting in judgement upon things"? </miljoke>

You should probably stop watching every American sport, then.

"[Sigh] It's too hot today" is one of those Simpsons lines that has so efficiently slipped into my everyday vocabulary that I've forgotten where it even came from.

Gangsta rap has now been a thing for two decades, and yet this was the angriest rap I've ever seen.

My adolescence was pretty chill. I have no need of Tori Amos.

Probably the most erotically drawn character in all of literature. I can't wait to see who they get to play her. I'm thinking something along the lines of a Monica Bellucci or a Jennifer Connelly…

"a whopping $10.95 million"

"The plan is for the show to use a framing device in which Roland tells this story to Jake, with the younger version of his character being played by someone who isn’t Idris Elba."

Someone should accuse her of asking for it.

Is "Women are whores and therefore it is licit to molest them wherever possible" a value? Because no-one thought they had dropped that shit.

Chef's dead, Dave.

Hands up who wanted another version of this song for their life to be complete.