It wasn't Carmelo. He wouldn't even pass gas.

well, he is an 'orrible cunt

He took care of it.

Hoover might be nuts, but he still wouldn't have signed Tony Romo to an extension.

There was some debate in our chat room about which choice of words is funnier: crotch, or dick and balls? I maintain that "dick and balls" is funnier as long as you say it properly, it has to roll out quickly like one word: "dickandballs." Anyway, what say you, readers?

I wish that email had a face, so that I could punch it.

Awww, is somebody upset because they might actually have to fairly compensate the people who keep their business running?

He smoked a J;
Then took a P;
And somehow A
Had more than B.

Hey guys, can you tell me where the Cadillac is?

I am fucking AMAZED by the guys that do this. I can't even wrap my head around it, it's like we're a fundamentally different species. My dick and I get along great and we have pretty high opinions of one another (well, I assume the well regard is reciprocated) but it has never once in my entire life occurred to me to…

more like Astro-not, amirite

The answer is of course Miata

You keep asking these questions when we already know the answer...

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son

Not necessarily. A lot of married couples don't have sex as frequently as the husband would like. Sometimes work/kids/house/life get in the way.

Although someone did point out that (according to the reddit thread) they're only 26, so you may be on to something.

Wouldn't the need for all that security be bigger if he *wasn't* signing with Cleveland?

Using the left lane for passing only?

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:

I'm sorry, but your headline really oversold it. This is approximately the level terror this inspired:

Robskins