I once had a PUA-adherent try to pick me up and when I neg-ed his neg and pointed out that I was literally already fucking one of the band members at the concert we were both at (which was true) and that even if I wasn't, his technique would literally never work, he started drunk crying and telling me how I don’t know…

As a proud Bearded-American, I endorse this correction. Now excuse me, I’m off to trim this bad-boy until it looks great.

My 25 year old sister says it that way, and it makes me cringe every time. I stopped correcting her because she swears she has “heard the Mexicans say it both ways.”

Floyd Mayweather is a lot of terrible things, and because of that, he will never get respect for being a master boxer. This post, whatever it is, is proof of that, as now we have people who clearly know very little about boxing are now determining what makes someone a coward in the ring. He fights…

Floyd got confused. He forgot you hug women and punch boxers, not the other way around.

So at the risk of saying something unpopular, in the restaurant industry, we do our best to accommodate these things but you have to understand that “our best” will never ever be perfect. We just can’t do that. I’m not saying that people with food allergies need to stay home. But I am saying that if you are deathly…

You’re right, people unfortunate enough to have food allergies should just be hermits and never go out anywhere ever. Right. Makes total sense.

This is what happens when my husband shaves his beard

I’m not letting Mr. Bells shave his, because he did once and he looked 19. It was horrifying.

Having lived through my share of this type of experience in school, I make sure to emphasize to my kids repeatedly that if they need the bathroom for WHATEVER reason, get up and go. I give no fucks about teacher authority when it comes to needing the facilities. I tell the kids to take care of their bodies and I'll…

My resting bitch face must have saved me from the predicament.

She's the hero of the goddamn movie! How did everyone who's not four miss that?

Yeah, I've seen this profile pic on tons of dating sites (pretty hot though):

So was it pulled because he was wrong, or because the content didn't align with Connecticut-based ESPN's alleged so-called narrative of "hating" the Patriots so darned much?

Folks with kids aren't all insufferable. Most of us respect whatever path people choose to take. The ones that don't (moms or childfree or otherwise) can fucking suck it.

So what you're saying is that football coverage is refreshingly devoit of the horseshit mountain of sanctimony baby boomer writers shovel onto the rotting carcass of MLB?

It has the sales staff at theaters busy. They're all tied up.

My kids had me carry them around for years. At one point they even demanded fancy carriages and special seating accommodations when I drove them around. I couldn't wait for the day those entitled leeches became toddlers.

Just keep repeating, "It's the doll or your soul. YOUR SOUL."