“Her attorney James Ellesnon CONCOCTED SOME BULL SHIT ABOUT how the boy was able to get access to the firearm...”

I’m not clear, is the mother suggesting the child shot the teacher because he felt like he was being ignored?  I sure hope not.  

“Boy, this Santos guy is in a bit of a pickle.”

We’re gonna miss you when you’re gone.

According to Santos, Biggie Smalls was robbing his house in “I Got a Story to Tell”.

Yup. His shooting percentage wasn’t good, but then it’s hard to focus on basketball when you’re also fighting Commie aliens on the moon.

Maybe he’ll try a diplomatic immunity defense. Hey, it’s worth a shot at this point.

And invoke the little known, super-secret Congressional Immunity clause in the Constitution that only a select few elite legislators know about.

“With all due respect ‘Your Honor’, I possess three law degrees from Harvard, Yale, and Cornell. Three apiece.”

Such a shame.  I would have expected better from a founding member of Menudo. 

He will walk into court and insist he is the judge.

“I confess: I could have run up 60 points that game but I only put in 40. I’m very ashamed of my behavior and ask for your forgiveness.”

What are the odds he confesses to everything but what he’s being charged for?

The only thing that shocks me about all this is how long it took for this to happen.

I get ads like that all the time.

It’s because if you search guns or ammunition, or God forbid, buy something related to them, The Algorithm assume you’re part of the 2nd Amendment Down With the Government and Kill Liberal Pussies crowd.

I roll my eyes 20 times per day at the stupid shit I get like that ad.

Why is this the ad I get on this article? lol

Toxic relationship. I don’t think femininity had anything to do with it. 

If there were any justice in this world, this would've been Steven Crowder's wife. 

Okay, but are the perpetrators men or women?

Statistically, yes. And in terms of assault committed by strangers, I doubt many men get anxious if a woman is walking behind them late at night/somewhere isolated and think she might rape/rob/assault/murder him. I’m sure there are exceptions, though.