“When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.” - Mitch Hedberg

Real OG’s used Kazaa for their P2P hijinx back in the day.

My argument is that clarity is more important than your arcane grammar standards, since language is a tool of communication even to “dumb people".

Some characters and concepts are really only good for one movie. Indiana Jones in Raiders is one

How does it feel to make owning a mutt seem pretentious?

We have enough issues in the world without you adding wrongheaded takes like this to the soup.

“After we specifically asked you not to click on this article, you went ahead and did it.” Not true, you told me not to click on that red button and I didn’t.

A preemptive, self-anointed white knighting. Fascinating...

Of course this differs greatly from Kobe’s Lakers, where no one scored on a passed ball.

I got 11 balls today

“My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She’s an actress, she just never gets called to the set.” - Mitch Hedberg

I mean he killed people in all the other films so does that mean he’s always been a humorless deadpool?

I have the answer for you.

Didn’t Querrey basically beat Djokovic by blasting huge serves?

“We hired the highest grossing actress of *all time* to be the lead of a film based on a story that took place in an English colony off the coast of China. An actress that, BTW, looks an awful lot like a living manga character. Uh, ooops?”

A horse is a horse of course, of course. Unless the horse is Cueto’s Mr. Dead.

“It’s hard to write about this obvious fact because even though it’s true, people will call me a racist”

I want to love something as much a Deadspin writers love going after Bill Simmons.

I’m not a Christian leader, but I'll condemn this stupidity. It's very un-christ-like. For the record, Christ was directly responsible for like -1 deaths during his lifetime.