“When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.” - Mitch Hedberg

Real OG’s used Kazaa for their P2P hijinx back in the day.

How does it feel to make owning a mutt seem pretentious?

We have enough issues in the world without you adding wrongheaded takes like this to the soup.

Of course this differs greatly from Kobe’s Lakers, where no one scored on a passed ball.

I got 11 balls today

“My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She’s an actress, she just never gets called to the set.” - Mitch Hedberg

Didn’t Querrey basically beat Djokovic by blasting huge serves?

A horse is a horse of course, of course. Unless the horse is Cueto’s Mr. Dead.

“It’s hard to write about this obvious fact because even though it’s true, people will call me a racist”

I want to love something as much a Deadspin writers love going after Bill Simmons.

+ .

There are two types of people: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

Whitley and Cheslor are the perfect aristocratic and most forever Royal names.

I don’t know. A lot of this reads like what got written in places like LA and Toronto about Moneyball after DePodesta and Ricciardi got fired. The strategy is a bad one because it failed and so on.

Also known as baseball season!

“Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.” - Mitch Hedberg

Which is the ENTIRE point. Your politics and social views will influence what you do without you trying. There is a huge difference between that and actively trying to put your politics out there. Schefter is against the latter when it comes to people that report on sports. The former is unavoidable—one literally…

My eyes glazed over and I read this headline as “I can’t believe Adam Sandler is really this naive” and I was thinking...”Really, though? I feel like I can.”

Pau Gasol’s decision to freeze his sperm looks prescient with the US inclusion of Green in the squad