*wheeze-slurring* I'm a toilet baby and I can't even swee-um!

Word.

1) A personal assistant who cooks, cleans, and keeps me on schedule. This person works just for the pleasure of my company (worth approximately $18).

I really wish I had chosen ANY other turn of phrase than "spraying bullets". It sucks that my use of hyperbole for the sake of emphasis on a real, systematic problem has been taken so literally as to detract from the issue. I maintain that there is a problem here, and you didn't describe a different problem so much as…

"It's better to have to explain your actions to a jury than to be dead (which yeah, being dead is bad, but you basically just said it's perfectly fine for the other, potentially unarmed person to be dead)."

This was a very well-thought out response...thanks! And I think your second paragraph is spot-on. It's a systematic issue. I don't know how to fix it, I just have this pipe dream that police brutality and shoot first/ask later bullshit will be brought under more scrutiny and eventually stopped. I never indicated that…

I totally get what you're saying. I bring up the oath because as a public servant or healthcare professional, your job is to help others first and foremost. Some amount of importance should be placed on that, yeah? I don't think all cops are bad. And I don't think cops always come in spraying bullets, but there have…

Why are cops trained to "first, stay safe and go home to their families"? Why the fuck...is self-preservation the #1 goal of the people our society depends upon to defend us when we can't defend ourselves? Physicians, clinicians, researchers, and others in the medical field swear an oath upon entering practice:…

They could have made this 100x better by having Christopher Walken/Captain Hook sing about how one of his beloved clocks belonged to his grandfather, who had hidden it in his ass for 5 yrs:

Not falling for this again! The Bob's Burgers parody swung back and forth between boring and odd/mildly funny, and when it was over I was in a state of "the fuck was that?!" Then for some reason felt the need to show it to others ASAP.

Whoa, the scent-memory of Gap/Abercrombie actually made me shudder. That (mixed with those saccharine Victoria's Secret body "mists") was the smell of my high school's halls, as well!