Because he's DAMAGED!

Wait… is that a real thing? I'm not usually a man to beg. But I'm begging for a link to that, even if I have to wait a few years to go to Canada again and watch it it will be worth it.

That's well spotted. Damn I didn't even come close to noticing that.

He's a sleepy lizard. And he's furious right now.

His second Debate against Mitt Romney was pretty funny("Must stay awake for my daughters, Sasha and… the other one… what's her name? Oh god, stay awake… Malika!") but aside from that pretty forgettable.

"We're here stuck in the middle of a Seth Rogan movie."
Possibly Jughead's single meanest comment.

Did they find Jason's 2010 Maple Syrup Tree-Tapping trophy at the scene?
No? Proof positive that a Predator or Predators did it.

You sound cool. Do you want to join the Lawndale High School Fashion Club?

Thursdays used to be called Thursdan before Flashpoint.
Saturday was also briefly called Saraday after the Legends crashed a party of druids and their captain made out with this totally hot druid groupie and the other druids petitioned to name the day after her.

Your opinion… is noted.

Is it Chris Hansen? Because that little tease refused to air my segment on his TV show because of "vulgarity beyond comprehension" when I explained my ploy to steal Lauren Graham away from that guy from Parenthood and what we would consensually do after I won her hand(and then what I'd do after I won the rest of her).

Does this mean that Bunheads is still dead?

I should start going to PTA meetings, just in case.
I should probably also get a kid.

She's the worst, she was on Newsradio once and was great at the role as well as being great in almost everything she's ever done.
I HATE HER SO MUCH!

I saw the stage production before I actually saw the film(this girl I was trying to bang had a spare ticket, so her, twelve girlfriends of hers, all in matching Pink T-Shirts and me went and saw it, I did not bang anyone that day).
So all these important iconic scenes from the film meant absolutely nothing to me and…

Younger people have been trained to watch movies differently than older people were. Older films are more static, less active(watch a car chase from early Bond films, the camera holds the shot for ages compared to the quick cuts of today), people who're used to more recent films can't untrain themselves enough to…

Thanos put her in the corner, Doctor Doom removed all the corners from Latveria after their last encounter while Deadpool sits in the corner hoping to get a spanking.

We do take donations, but Patterson books(and others we have too much of) we send off to a charity who sell them to raise money. No way are we adding to our Patterson collection.

After the election Hillary stopped taking her calls and she's taking it personally.

There are only two opinions allowed around these here parts: loving everything about Riverdale and wrong one.
And he's looking likely to be standing on the left side of a queer donkey with his not loving Riverdale think piece.