Everyone keeps bagging on Manziel because they don’t think he can play at the pro level. What everyone doesn’t realize is that he’s been doing it SOBER. He can’t play sober, he can’t even tie up his own laces sober because of all the hand shaking from alcohol withdrawal. How the hell is he supposed to throw a football…

And to you. In fact I’ve got a few blankets that I’d love to give Dan Snyder.

Step 1: Preheat Oven to 325 degrees

Marchman fucked up the cereal rankings, brilliant idea to ask him about Thanksgiving and expect him to say something informed.

“I know this is Deadspin”

Yes, it is. I highly doubt any of the man’s friends or relatives are reading Deadspin comments right now. Jokes are not the root of any problem of any society. This is actually one of the last spaces where people will joke after a tragedy, and the jokes are rarely malicious. Case in point, the joke you objected to.

You will never know what you are missing out on... salt crusting is a fabulous way to prepare all sorts of large cuts of meat. This is the first time I’ve seen it done with a bird but I salt crust large pork and beef roasts all the time and they turn out mindbogglingly delicious.

This x 1000.

It really irks me the way discussions around these parts involving crimes committed by teenagers inevitably feature someone screaming how they’re “just children!”. It’s like there’s this binary between a person being a completely helpless child and a fully functioning adult, as if there isn’t a huuuuuge…

K - that’ll be $322.17 please.

Teenagers are impressionable, but they are not helpless children nor are the vast majority of them unaware that it’s wrong to kill people or join terrorist groups. Those that decide to commit crimes don’t deserve a full, ‘just a child,’ pardon. I can be sorry that they got sucked into something bad and also recognize…

There’s a big difference between a disaffected teen who does drugs or shoplifts versus a disaffected teen who joins a group that showcases extreme depravity and violence. If joining ISIS is just about being impressionable and making “bad choices” than all teens are latent torturers/rapist/killers waiting for the right…

I assume you meant to reply to someone else...

This just in: someone likes something i don’t. To the internet!

It’s not even about the pedos. It’s about embarrassing your kid. Who, 50 years from now, will take you to Guatemela because she can’t find an elder care facility shitty enough in Arkansas or Kentucky or Louisiana (basically anywhere the SEC has home games) to leave you to die alone.

I just know there's a group of perverts deep in the dark part of the internet who are hoovering up every cute Facebook pic of topless toddlers to distribute to their equally psycho friends, and it makes me want to take a shower in Purell.

Beyond the call described in this article?

Horribly officiated game all the way through... but I have to say that the number of calls the Pats get is INFURIATING. Also, I’m sick of people calling Brady ‘smart’ for his constant grounding of the ball when under pressure. Whatever the letter of the law, he’s obviously not intending to complete the throws (most of…

he won’t, and now the kid looks like a money-grubbing asshat.

I don’t know. I think these days, a Kony 2012 Tshirt would be amazing to wear.