AND you can only see G or PG rated movies, as a zygote isn't old enough to see anything rated higher.

I must say I will probably now refer to myself as fun-sized multiple times daily. For the rest of my life. I'm not really that short but I somehow end up knowing mostly tall men, some of whom like to refer to me as "munchkin" and refuse to believe that they're actually abnormally tall and I am in fact barely under…

I snorted.

My mom still gets mad when my parents get mail addressed in that way. She did take my father's last name, but as she puts it, "My name's not (Insert father's first name here)!"

Did you mean the WHO? I was a bit confused at first, thinking that the band The Who had a favourite method of abortion...

The only text I managed to send only said "Jager tastes worst than syphilis" and was sent to a guy I dated when I lived on the other side of the world...

I've had port that was infused with chocolate! Delicious. Would also work as a sauce on ice cream. Stanley Lambert Choc-a-Bloc.

That sounds like Halifax airport! At least, 10 years ago when I was there. A Burger King, a bookstore, and a fish store. And the fish store was closed.

Thanks for the clarification! I should have researched this myself, unfortunately I already spend a little too much time reading Jezebel and adding too much tangential research would mean that I would just live on the internet.

Erm.... they can't be admitted to an effing HOSPITAL without permission?!

I've been known to put concert tickets in a box of Jello! Definitely more fun than elaborate wrapping.

I kind of would prefer giving a stiletto to the nutsack, but to each their own!

@Ipomoea: Canadian geese can definitely be batshit crazy. A friend of mine was chased by one in a mall parking lot.

How did he even remember all of their names?

@SpicyCheeto: Uh yeah, it's definitely NOT just you.

@agog: Um... how exactly did he expect you to "stay out of his way" while he was down there? Weren't you the whole reason for his "way"?

My high school banned hugging. We staged a "hugfest" in protest on the lawn outside the front door. It was along a busy street and one of the TV station news crews came and filmed it.

@tulipa44: 3) try to stick it in without asking! And without lube!

@epurple12: Another reason to be rabidly anti-death penalty:

@westvillagegirl (exiled in chicago): I've met strippers who do have a plan for when they retire. They know they can only make that kind of money for a certain number of years and have certifications and such for when they can't do it anymore. I've also met strippers who just love it so much they insist they'll…