It’s like those Hornitos Tequila ads... what kind of haircut? ANY HAIRCUT!

Meanwhile, this dipshit Midwestern Lion found safety.

It’s Boston. I think you mean it would be like putting 10 pounds of shit into 5 pounds of shit.

“Now Timmy, please show us where the bad man touched you.”

Indiana Wedding Cake?

I hope that the university has a principal who understands the principles of proper spelling.

I got you!

The dirty diapers don’t compare to the one time I came across a deuce someone had left in the back row,...Guess they couldn’t miss any of “The Sixth Sense”...

Jalopnik; where discussions on the feasibility of some guys daughter’s “marital aid” being wired to her car turns into an introductory class of electrical engineering.

I think our next behind closed ovens should feature commenters not getting super obvious jokes.

My first exposure to a gin and tonic, long before I came of age, was the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy joke about how every civilization in history has had a drink called a “jynnan tonix” or something similar.

How big would the sign have to be, if she was unable to see the lake?

Well, that may happen if you eat gluten.

Former ref here...

You can argue charge, but in the moment that’s like arguing balls and strikes. It wasn’t a clear, overt leaving of the feet. It’s basically impossible to jump, demolish a guy in open ice, land on two feet, and skate away. No ref is calling that.

The better argument would be elbowing. If I thought he…

“I’m certainly not blaming the victim here”

If you have ever had a ripe heirloom type tomato in July or August, you'd know the difference immediately and irrevocably. Now, I have no problem with the mealy supermarket kind - I use them mostly for texture, not for flavor. But the two are basically different species if you compare them.

"stick a butterknife into an open jar of mayonnaise"

That stadium is insulting to all working women.