What a waste of money. 30 grand could have put a couple of those sex dolls through college.

You know what, though? Pepperoni Butt has way better social skills than most people on OK Cupid.

Just have yourself in the frame watching at first, and as things start heating up and he is busy doing his whatever, add another person in the frame. Just a couple more eyes peeking into frame. By the end just have seven people standing in the room, watching the pepperoni porn. He'll be so surprised.

So many dudes think they're the only one sending a message asking if it's ok to ask a "really weird question", which is *always* just about their stupid boners. I only ever responded to one, and I said "you're like the fifth one this week, so sure". He said he didn't feel special anymore, then asked if I was into…

It makes me feel better about the last creepy message I received on okcupid...

i'm impressed with how everyone seems to have handled him, tho, you know? taking him back to his room, etc.

I feel like if you have to make a point of asking that your friends and family 'not do more than kissing' at your wedding, you should get new friends and family.

God almighty. I genuinely don't understand expecting people to shell out hundreds for your wedding. How can people be so selfish?

I've been to a lot of weddings, mostly those of strangers, because of various things I've been doing for the wedding/reception venues.

Happy ending indeed...good for MOH for NOT sticking it out with PTSD and getting out.

It's surprising how many of life's problems can be solved by saying, "fuck it, let's order pizza."

"Vaginal Wince" = good band name

Attention bad tippers: Paris Hilton is now a better person than you are. BOOM.

Hey man, his noodles are dope!

Zhang's Noodles: OpiYUM!

I actually know a lot of deeply religious people who support reproductive rights and struggle with reconciling their faith and their political/social beliefs. I think they are absolutely capable of intelligent discourse and have witnessed it many times.

Oh, absolutely. Any doctor will tell you a diagnosis is just the start. I just say that because, honestly, people are way too prone to self-diagnosis.

I have a similarly vengeful stomach, but like you said sometimes dessert is worth the stabbing stomach pains later on (or at least this is what I tell myself when eating said dessert). It amazes me, however, how many people try to police what I eat, especially since I try to keep it on the DL as much as possible…

Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays.

Nobody puts Baby on the floor.