I'm sorry, Yelena, I'm afraid I can't let you leave the shower without properly conditioning.
abeer
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In her original article and here, Erin very clearly outlines that the point isn't that Miss Americas should have "perfect pasts," it's that the Miss America Organization has a pretty ridiculous definition of what constitutes bad behavior. This sentence makes that point TOTALLY clear:
My daughter started asking questions in first grade. I was straightforward. I drew pictures. We got out the encyclopedia. Eventually I found a book (THERE ARE NO BOOKS FOR ELEMENTARY AGED KIDS ABOUT SEX STUFF AND BODIES) called What's Happening to Me? It's about puberty. Best I could do. She read it, we talked about…
My mom (a preschool teacher) heard of a story where a different teacher had a student who said "i have to make cookies" when she had to poop...
I can't believe your doctor said that! Ours usually just goes for "I'm going to look inside your underwear now" unless more specifics details are medically needed. He also usually adds a short lecture about how this is ok because he's the doctor and your parents are here but that it's never ok for someone to do this…
My Mother in Law tells one of my all-time favourite stories about this kind of thing:
I agree. When I taught high school it was exactly that way. Literature teachers would be reprimanded for saying "damn" in class—kids went home and told their parents, who complained!—while the seniors would dress up like gangbangers on Cinco de Mayo and the boys would chant "make me a sandwich" at the girls at lunch.
my son got in trouble in 1st grade when, while the other boys were looking at a book in the library with a picture of a mermaid and giggling at her "boobs", he said quite firmly "they're called BREASTS!" And we got a note home telling us our son said BREASTS in school. I gave him a high five.
One of the proudest moments of my parenting life so far was when Little BallofStress was at the doctor's office at age 4 because she had labial adhesions (due to lack of estrogen) and the doctor said in this sickeningly cutesy voice "Let's take a look at your suzy!" Little BallofStress looked at her like she had three…
Apparently when I was small, I got confused and thought penis meant your general reproductive area (or front bum as I named it...because I was an odd child). Anyway, I announced to restaurant once: "I've got a penis, mummy's got a penis, and daddy's got a penis with a nose on it!" >.> So at least your kid knows you…
She couldn't have even chosen a yonic fruit? Like, zucchinis for dicks and...I don't know, halved kiwis for vaginas?
I read a terrible parenting story about a lady who'd call vaginas "zucchinis" and it ended up with the girl being served some zucchini at the paternal grandma's house and going "But whose zucchini is it?" and "I am not gonna eat that! I don't eat people!"
We're potty training right now and it just seems easier to use the proper terms. For some reason, he insists on calling a vagina a 'tile', but is really good at recognizing penises and saying penis over and over again in public. "That man has a penis, that mommy has a tile and boobs!"
We've always used the proper terms with our kiddo (I'm a biologist, I'm not going to call it a wee-wee or a hoo-haa or whatever). She was then told by other kids she was saying "bad words." Her teacher started to tell her not to say those and she proudly said "My mommy says those are the right words and not to use…
Those shoes would look beautiful on my beautiful shoe shelf inside my beautiful closet, which houses all the beautiful shoes that I buy because they're beautiful but never wear because they hurt like fuck.
"I have my special Getting On An Airplane license for THAT. DUH."
"You're welcome Meghan, and maybe one day, hey, you'll even be thankful."