My hands are twitching at how bad I want to hit the dude in the gif.

I will call this ship The Divorcer, because there is no way in hell my wife would let me drop that kind of cash on a toy.

We’re just going to act like there’s not a helicopter parked on that pedestrian overpass, huh?

Jokes aside, as a lifelong Steeler fan who rarely misses a game, I firmly believe that this hit is the direct cause of AB going from ‘entertaining and fun’ to ‘insane lunatic’. He was never the same guy after this game/hit. Take it for what you will.

It’s not really a surprise that Porsche has a team defending its trademarks. Every company worth its salt does or at least should.

Now if someone could please explain what the rest of the car was for?

Hey Jack, are there any other rights enshrined in the Bill of Rights that you demand we give up?  You do realize that the vast vast vast vast majority of gun crime is urban drug violence?  Of course you don’t, but even with your ignorance on the issue, why don’t the cesspools of gun violence (big blue cities, mostly)…

I’m an above average 6'2 180 pound 29 year old male. If I was put in as a running back on 1st and goal from the 1 and given the ball (up to) four straight times

Easy answer, suspend him over the field of play ala the spidercam. I’m not saying we’d have to call it “The Hanging Booger” but it’s an idea.

“The hills are alive with the sound of, AAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Kind of hard to describe it as Malkin hitting Oshie when what Malkin did is move his body so that Oshie simply ran into a different part of Malkin than he wantd to. 

Add five games to Tom Wilson’s suspension for Malkin’s hit...

He BARELY changes his body at all. In real-time this is a penalty, but absolutely not is this worth a suspension - he shouldn’t have even been kicked out. Maybe Oshie should have stepped in front of Malkin instead of putting his jaw in front of his shoulder full flight

Tom, your articles are always informative based on your ongoing experience in the business, and having you here is a real asset to Jalopnik (a win-win). Thanks.

Wow. They had 3 officers that were wounded responding to the attack at the synagogue. They should be honored too. They showed ultimate bravery. Your article is what tears people apart. Why didn’t you mention these men put their lives on the line during Saturday’s attack? Your article is one sided and spews hate. 

but the nagging effects of gravity starts slowing a bullet down the moment it leaves the gun barrel.

This. A million times this.

Every day, hundreds of millions of Americans play the game - go to work, earn money, spend money, repeat. Save a little coin along the way and one day you retire. That’s the way the game has always been played.

But yet, when we look at those who have been more successful at playing the exact…

So he would have been better off keeping the $2 billion and doing nothing with it?  I mean there are plenty of appropriate grievances to be aired towards Bezos.  Be better Hamno.  This is fucking weaksauce.