OMG this is so good

Don’t put marbles in your nose

“And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.” is a pretty great last line, you gotta admit.

Maybe someone can throw them a roll of paper towels.

Eventually political opinions and loyalties are going to lose to scientific facts.

The guy won’t button his suit jackets when he stands up because he’s afraid to look fat. So instead he looks like a goddamn yokel and everyone knows he’s fat anyway.

This morning there was a guy leaning on his car horn under my window (in a residential area of Manhattan) for nearly twenty minutes. I have no doubt he was blocked in and frustrated but he was literally accomplishing nothing other than annoying hundreds if not thousands of people around him so he could voice his…

It’s also kind of weird that under this plan someone with a salary of $100k would make more than someone with a salary of $120k. Some people would literally be incentivized to ask for less pay from their employers.

No one who lives in Manhattan and most of NYC wants cars. Wtf.

Seems to me like she’s hiding something.

She’s not singing about her butthole, she’s singing about your butthole.

I mean, the Jokey is pretty evil. Also, isn’t that how he pays his henchmen? With “exposure”?

It also offers the least amount of green space per person among the major cities of the U.S.

Not sure how it was a joke? That’s some abstract shit.

The top image really looks like a young Hillary Clinton.

How about “surprise anal”?

It really is amazing how every two years or so Jezebel tries to start up another advice column and just fails miserably again and again. It’s like some kind of weird obsession. Is there some unwritten rule that says a ladyblog must have an advice column?

Scorcese already went pretty much directly to streaming with the Irishman and AMC (along with Cinemark, Regal, and Cineplex) refused to support the limited theatrical release. I’m not sure he’s quite as attached to the big screen experience as you think.