It’s funny to go back and read your ‘Being a QB is too hard’ article and see that the Brown’s GM, who you made fun of, was 100% correct. Jared Goff is proof.

That’s like a Comic Con panel telling you Iron Man fans are the grittiest in the MCU.

It could also be that since he in China, he is holding his paddle weird, or the ‘Chinese way’, as I have heard it called. 

You can even see his opponent in the video is holding the paddle sideways.

it’s not impossible to imagine the Dolphins edging into the playoffs with something like a 9-7 record. If that happens, please remember this game, and rest assured in the knowledge that they will get the shit kicked out of them in the first round.

Mine was definitely the Documentary Now! episode parodying “Stop Making Sense” - not because I am a huge Talking Heads fan (which I am), but for the brief interlude when Fred does a medley inspired by my favorite Tom Wait’s album Swordfishtrombone.
I literally cried on the couch, got out my phone, and played the songs…

I worked briefly at an A&F as well, and my experience in the barest of formal hiring process was similar.

They scheduled me for the 8pm-2am shift when I made it clear that I had class at 8am, so midnight was the latest I could work. I kept leaving at midnight without my managers approval, and ended up making more money…

Any list not stating “The Two Mrs. Cranes” as the best episode is a fail.

No, we you see, we are all decent people! We’ve just been lying to you this entire time!

Possibly, my old AIM screen name was JaxSmirkngRevnge (edited for character count purposes). Totally not kidding. 

Apparently my wife has been vehemently lying to me for last 11 years.

She is so not into it that after we moved in together, she had to adjust to the fact that I did it occasionally.

She also thought that all claims of girls doing it were 100% false and entirely made up by movie/sitcom writers who want to make their…

Its MRS. Chanandeler Bong

OMG, thank you so much for that

I said I wanted pancakes!!!!

Conan also had great musical guests, a couple of favorites were

Death from Above 1979:

My favorite Conan joke ever was on an ‘actual items’. it was a fora toy train set, which was shown built around a baby sleeping on the floor. The punchline was ‘Dead baby not included’. I laugh just thinking about it.

I never understood the appeal of strip clubs. My friends went alot from 18-21 because it was the only ‘bar’ atomsphere they could legally go to. I, fortunately, never had a problem getting a cute girl to get naked with me, so I never understood why anyone would pay to see an unattractive older woman naked from afar.

I…

I just read it, and it was excellent.

You swam at UW with Eddie?

What’s that? You want me to drink you?....But I’m in the middle of trial!

Newman, you wouldn’t eat broccoli if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce.

When I was in college, my frat house had a flat roof that we would hang out on occasionally. On this particular occasion, we also decided to throw water balloons at various passer-by.

I slipped and fell ~30 feet onto concrete, breaking my femur, pelvis, all my carpal bones, radius, ulna, upper and lower orbital and…