Mamie Till is one of the few personal heroes I have, and I believe she made the single most powerful decision and statement of the Civil Rights Movement. I cannot even think of her words, “I wanted the world to see what they did to my baby.”, without beginning to cry. And to reduce that incredible power to such a flat…

Seriously. Had she chosen Mamie Till as the subject of her painting, that might have better expressed what she was trying to convey.

It’s not like there wasn’t source material available.

Thissss! I went I away this weekend unexpectedly and my husband stayed home. I asked him to please clean the whole apartment (which I do on a regular basis) and after much gyration he agreed. When I got home it was mostly clean (but not very well done) and he hadn’t cleaned the bathtub because he “didn’t know how.”…

Honestly? Thank you for sharing! I feel like if more guys vocalized their insecurities about being the primary parent and how a lot of it is a result of socialization and toxic socialization, it would open up more discussion to fixing things and ensuring the better division of labor. Good luck to you and your wife,…

Well said. When I would bark at my husband for not emptying the trash or picking up after himself, he said he didn’t notice it. Literally expecting someone else to take care of it.

Also, “we’re better at it” or “you’ll just criticize how I do it.” So I’m not allowed to discuss how something should be done (like, oh, no soda or sugars after 7pm for the kids), because then it gives them an out for doing anything at all. Is it better to shut up and have a half-ass job done? Not for me, no. It makes…

I’m a single parent and when people hear that, they usually scrunch their faces into a pitying look and tilt their head to the side, but it really has its advantages. One of them is that I don’t have to do all the relationship crap. Yes, I have to do everything myself, but I save so much time and energy by not having…

2. You probably don’t understand how to change a diaper, handle breast milk/prepare formula, or any of the 80,000 other things involved in child-rearing. Figure it out or ask. Your wife doesn’t actually know as much as you think either, but she isn’t using that as an excuse to do nothing.

Because a lot of dudes literally don’t see or understand the full scope of the work as a result of socialization. Women see the unequal distribution of household labor because they’re the ones doing the work. It’s like how white people don’t see white privilege because they’re the ones with the privilege. People of…

I wish I had been given this- and not the opposite- advice my entire life. Because I’m finding that the state of our marriage isn’t fair for either of us.

I am going to mutter “spot fucking on” over and over to myself as a calming mantra as I climb the ladder to clean out the gutters (that he knows are full, that I have asked him to clean for two weeks). If I don’t, the basement will flood and for sure I can’t get shitty and yell at him for not cleaning the gutters, so…

No joke. I was married for 20 years, no kids, divorced two years ago, and am constantly surprised by my contentment now and feel my privileges much more. I live on disability, in a small apartment, always counting my dollars, and feel guilty how happy I am with my little dog and big cat. Another relationship is just…

“cuz MY MOM did it!”

While I understand that it absolutely is a thing, I do not understand why so many men are seemingly unwilling or unable to go at least 50/50 on household chores and child rearing, and why so many women put up with/allow it. As a guy myself, this dynamic just seems ridiculous.

I like my husband more since we divorced and he moved to another state

Because you have three people to take care of (4 including yourself). Not two people taking care of two small people.

Because the reality is that men—even the feminist ones, even the well meaning ones—were socialized to think housework and childrearing aren’t their problem. Even with both partners working at an equal relationship, that socialization is hard to kill. The experience is just fundamentally different, so the frustrations…

I think with no kids, separate residences is key to long lasting love.

Today’s self-proclaimed feminist men aren’t nearly as feminist as they think they are.

Would this be good reading for someone with no intention of procreating but who has had multiple relationships fail due to unequal labor division? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.