Damn, that's quite a system. Now I'm imagining virgins having a secret code of ommitted questions, like those signs hobos leave for eachother.

Damn, that last line made my eyes tear up a little bit. I'm going to read that Dan Savage column and try to keep your advice in mind. As much as I like to think I have a theoretical understanding of the realities of sex....well, for every time I read someone giving their personal experience of sex I then go on to…

It is helpful, though it's always tempting to read these stories and start playing misery poker. "Yeah but he's dated and I've never even had one date so this is totally irrelevant and could never happen to me and my situation is hoooooppppeellleeessss......"

That's good to know, thanks.

*smack*

Thanks for the encouragement, I appreciate it. But when is the best time to actually bring this up? I mean, I'm a straight male, even bringing up sex on the first date unsolicited could come across as presumptious at best, aggressive at worst. The third date actually still seems pretty early to me.

Haha, yeah right just look at.... fuck. OK, point.

It's difficult to make broad, sweeping generalisations about these things, but I do agree with you. A woman is more likely to get away with "I just didn't feel ready" or the like than a dude is. That does seem to be changing in younger generations though.

You're right, these articles on virginity are always written either by someone who is no longer a virgin or is so by choice. They have valuable things to say, but really not to me, or you, or a hell of a lot of people like us.

Honestly, I'm probably more using virginity as a shorthand for never really experiencing intimacy, or affection, from the opposite sex. Well, at least only in tantalisingly small amounts 9 years ago, the memories of which are just a bitter reminder...

Damn that's harsh.

The shrinking pool of friends in a similar position definitely sounds familiar. I remember at 16 talking to friends about sex pretty much all the time, then there was this horrible realisation that while I was talking about what I wanted to do, they were talking about what they were actually doing. And nine years…

The first time I heard about the 'Never have I ever' game (is that the same?) I was fucking horrified, and so glad that I'd never seen it happen personally, since it seemed to be an American thing (I'm British). Then my brother told me that a scant 200 miles away they played it at his University and I was even more…

Oh I don't have answers, I'm just complaining.

That's good to know, thanks. Hopefully everyone else will buy that story too...

hmm, maybe you accidentally typed a couple of extra numbers onto the end of an answer somewhere? "Sexual partners: 111" or something.

Supposedly it's your answers to all the various questions. Maybe they take other things into account, but I wasn't exactly untruthful about being interested in things like pornography/masturbation/kink so... who knows?

I'm currently on OKCupid and the "experienced in love" personality measurement thing is literally as low as it can go. I made the mistake of being honest in the anonymous questions about my level of experience, thinking that information would stay anonymous. Wrong. I now have a big measurement bar telling everyone who…

My first thought on seeing this comment.

I'm a dude and have felt that way just over particularly intense crushes. Frankly it was a pain in the arse, since the act of simply asking these ladies out became a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity at which I had to succeed at all costs!