A family friend has a son who has Down's Syndrome and she is disabled now so he had to go into a care home and she's said that she loves him but if she had known early in her pregnancy then she would probably have aborted. I admire her for saying it, because I think even implying you would consider it will often get…

It's okay. She's actual 25. Sigh.

A guy I work with recently sent an email that only contained a picture from Brokeback Mountain with the subject line "Glory goal celebration" to a client instead of a colleague. We all laughed so hard. Especially because he didn't realize for about two days, when the colleague said he'd never seen the email.

I would take it as a compliment. I've been working for years to level up my bitchdom.

One of my biggest gripes with 50 Shades is that based on the trailers, Jamie Dornan is 200x hotter than Christian Grey. I didn't read the books, don't care about the movie, but if you're casting "Adonis" and you have found "Hottest Man on Netflix" you don't remove all his body hair. Seriously. You just don't.

When I worked at a newspaper the local government was talking about trying to get pandas for the zoo and when it fell through the headline was:

THIS IS AMAZING!!!

Clicked because I thought those were Jalapeño Cheetos. I'm not mad, I'm disappointed.

Mmmmno... Look at that smug smile. WTF is Grace so smug about? She shat herself way more recently than anyone I know.

Ice queens unite! My romance/nostalgia setting is broken. A drunk friend-with-benefits once told me I was an "ice queen on an island surrounded by barbed wire and a freezing ocean". I took it as a compliment.

Dammit - this joke should have been mine!

YES! It's definitely Julia Garwood. I'm not totally sure which one but Gentle Warrior sounds right...

Isn't there an old church doctrine that childbirth pain is punishment for original sin? So Eve eats the apple, becomes aware of sex, and all women forever suffer because of it. It's not that different.

Yeah, I don't get it. Mr Penguin and I split the bills 50/50. Joint purchases go on the joint credit card, which we split as well. The rest of your money is your own. If you want to buy $500 shoes go for it, as long as you can still pay your half of the bills.

There's a great line in Americanah (paraphrased): "I've been African all my life but I only became Black after I moved to America".

I do not think I am good at sex. I am okay at sex. Probably average. Enthusiastic, but a bit lazy. I think I'm the second best lover I've had. Good, but always with room for improvement.

I am terrifyingly easily influenced by repeated exposure to ideas so am already halfway on board the Spanx train.

YES PLEASE. I came here to post this:

While I'm glad she made a public statement condemning the techniques, she claims that she didn't know that producers were telling contestants not to eat what the doctors recommended. I cannot imagine that she was that disconnected. She's built her own brand on the back of this show, and stuck around for however many…

This guy who only liked (and could only come in) missionary. For, like, six weeks and then again a couple months later when I was travelling and happened to be in the same city. Honestly, it was just laziness. And, like, the first few times it didn't even matter. Who cares? But after a few weeks I really should have…