Why is it bright red? WHY IS IT BRIGHT RED?!?

Hatfright

counterpoint: it is actually super fun to play with your friends

“I’ll go out a hero to prison knowing I that made the world better.”

They tried to score the gig as official pizza to the Vatican, but rival chain Papal John has that one sewn up.

We need to go deeper.

Do you know my dad? lol

Get that kid off my ice, you little wanker!

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

He’s going to be so disappointed that he’s missing out on the celebratory trip to the White House after the games are over.

You guys wouldn’t be interested in new members, would you? I miss sunlight. And fun.

This is the awning of the age of hilarious.

It’s fine, don’t worry... I’ll watch it with your aunt.

Or.. this:

Niccceeee. You should really think about going to craft stores like 2 weeks after christmas bc you can get a lot of really good deals on compartment storage - and I think that the storage things they have for christmas tree decorations (like ball ornaments) might not be a bad idea for any bigger pieces you have.

That kid is such an annoying little pissant.

I mean, for one, he didn’t ask for the man to be fired or suspended; that action was taken by his employer because his fuck up is going to cost them. Seems like you would have reacted differently in that situation and his position, which is fine. If I were in that situation, I would want an apology, at the very least.…