every time I see one of these roundups of indefensible scumbag tweets, they go in a folder in my bookmarks maked Do Not Hire. whenever I see a resume, I take a quick glance just to make sure none of these fucks ever gets a job with me.
the people who slurred that Indian woman who became Miss America, the people who…

I'm a man... therefore I cannot in any way know what it feels like to PMS and all the associated pains or aches... but... can I PLEASE join you in beating the shit out of these idiots! :-)

The ducks at my sister's ranch are the boss of every single animal there. The horses, the dogs...whenever the ducks show up it's like "OK EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN MOVE OUT OF THE WAY WE ARE DUCKS WE ARE HERE TO DO DUCK THINGS THANK YOU."

She better hope that kid doesn't have a blowout all over that couture. I even put towels down before my fully clothed kid nursed because she would poop UP HER BACK. The first time it happened, it was so loud and messy that I thought I broke her.

"Caption This: Baby Edition"

Sharia don' like it....

Girl, what are you doing.

Everyone should watch He Loves Me... He Loves Me Not! Brilliant film.

He most likely looked it up on the internet at a public library

I wish I was famous like Rihanna so that the NYPD would have arrested my ex-boyfriend when he was sending me threatening letters. Guess I just have to try harder!

The Ouroborus is horrified at your equivocation of its long-standing lesson in futility with this jackass.

ourodouchous

I love Vin Diesel but can we talk about Ming-Na Wen. She is 50! 50!

I would reject on the basis on spelling. But to give him the benefit of the doubt, are you sure he didn't mean titles? Did you perhaps have poetry in your profile, or a reading list? Favorite comic books?

Right? My friend had a guy rubbing up against her on the subway once. Some little old guy saw it and immediately began to rip the guy apart in front of everyone else on the subway. Good on you old dude. Good on you.

You did a good deed.

This is why I got a very large dog. He is an absolute sweetie - but growls at any strange men that come in the house a bit till they've proven they're not a threat (aka - given him a cookie or I've introduced them properly) and when he barks he sounds like the hound from hell. Slightly paranoid of me -but I do feel…

I have a huge brain crush on Jessica Williams and her comedy. I want to shout "thank you" at my screen.