“Also I find that vlogger so annoying. How can you be that chirpy and utterly vacuous?”

I don’t think there was any internet...I mean, are they supposed to live like animals?

Oh my god - i spent 12 hours in the bahamas and no one was there to wait on me. I had to drink vodka from a bottle.

This asshole and his backwards hat saying “ratched”.

This was sort of wonderful. Also that guy reminds me of Tucker Max.

You want to light them on FYRE.

Wow. I thought I couldn’t have less empathy for the characters in this tale of rich people woe. Then, I watched this video.

I just took a whiff and the schadenfreude is still fresh.

Watched until 1:38 and I want to light all of them on fire.

LSD coated lick a stix and take my money now!

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

Best argument for the redistribution of wealth that I’ve ever seen.

A shop vac will just suck out all of the emotions, positive and negative. It may also suck out a large portion of your uterus, which may make walking uncomfortable. You may want to use a pine cone to scrape all of the emotions out.

THIS RIGHT HERE. The Goop website, like so many hucksters before it, has figured out how to monetize the despair of women who aren’t listened to.

I am intrigued by your positions and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Your username is very appropriate for this advice I will assume you are an expert in this field. May I suggest you create lifestyle wellness site and perhaps call it Poop.

forever and ever and ever

Stop carrying your negative emotions in your uterus and you may have an easier time. Once you push them out you will be able to access your power better. I keep all of my negative emotions in my anus, so I can get rid of them daily.

Lena Dunham and Cameron Diaz will appear alongside Goop experts like Serrallach and Junger. Ticket tiers are named after different gemstones, and range in price from $500 to $1,500.

Get good sleep, eat more fiber and green stuff, move around, jettison assholes in your life and have a hobby. That’s my advice, now someone give me a gabillion dollars for my wisdom.