You gotta wonder how the Duke football fan is handling this loss.

It's even harder for women.

I know this is a Gawker thing, but "Because reasons" or any other variation of this phrase is idiotic.

You can't just walk out to the dumpster or the trash room with a few 18 packs or a few bourbon bottles in a suitcase and get to emptying. Any suggestion on how to get rid of the dead soldiers in the least conspicuous way possible?

ESPN CEO: "So, Tim, how do you feel about your contract with us? You know that it means you can't leave for 10 years, right?"

Rodriguez: [puts potato chip on shoulder]

Subject: Thought You Could Use This Now

Dallas is Esmeralda to the playoff's Quasimodo - just can't get over the hump.

At least his teammates didn't badger him about it.

"Andrew has shown an arrogant disregard and complete lack of respect for this organization. If I were to describe his attitude in one word, it would be cava...aww fuck."

You have not truly experienced the raw oyster until you have eaten on the dock in south Louisiana.

They are preparing his Knick jersey as we speak.

What a brave person.

No, but Persecuted Christian Republicans like to pretend that there are. The reality is that those people get belligerent when people DON'T say Merry Christmas.

A lot of these guys have the idea that they suffered growing up because of their nerd interests, and are displeased to see other people not suffering for those same interests, which are now mainstream. But their mistake lies in this:

I just neglect to read it for the articles, I swear.

But...how will they know?

Well if someone in DC hit their target you can rule out RG3 as a suspect.

Yeah, lets be serious. I decided she had my heart with that butt plug collection.

"But she didn't keep it a secret and that's why she's basically awesome."

Well, that and the apparently copious butt plug collection she owns.