A dynamic paradigm, wherein agile linguistic maneuvers will be monetized?

Aw, darn! This was one of the few people I actually followed on Instagram!

The doll even has salt-spray hair. Her attention to detail is impecable.

I have had dealt with some nurses who were just frankly mean.

The one that explains that there is such a thing as “history,” and how history imbues different words with different significance. You know, like how “girl” carries a history that “boy” doesn’t. Now that I think about it, that’s probably a junior high study.

I still struggle with that feeling too, even after YEARS of my partner happily doing the deed. Teenage boyfriends are the worst!

Thank god she’s skinny and her parents are connected. Otherwise she might have to survive on ability and skill.

Prairie dogs carry it too apparently. And I find them much less creepy than squirrels.

Wait, people don’t know that the Bubonic Plague is in North America? It has been for some time.

I saw an adult stretch his ball sack while laying on his back and yell “let’s go sailing”. It’s amazing how large an area the stretched sack occupies. You couldn’t actually navigate the high sea using the scrotal sail. But you may be able to get someone to buy a round of drinks.

Srsly. Like, if I spent that much time referencing / messing with / doing things with my tits, people would think I’d lost my goddamn mind.

If I wanted to see the world through the eyes of a giant ballsack, I’d stick a Go-pro somewhere underneath Donald Trump’s toupee.

Wait... can you actually use fake names to file?

Autoplay needs to die in a fire

1. you’re saying there’s actual nudity on a major network Shonda Rhimes series? Does not compute.

She didn’t want to wear a bra so she wore a slightly less revealing bra. And on the inside she wore a bikini which really is just a bra and panties that you could theoretically wear in water.

It is BEYOND sad that this is considered “more clothing.” :(

Sleep paralysis doesn’t melt steel beams

My entire life’s net worth up to this point probably still doesn’t equal the value of Beyonce’s wig collection.