The second thing.

No shit? Where on earth have I been? @@

FFS bisexuality is a thing.

sorry, shorts on a plane is gross, there is no telling what happened on the seat, who was there last...it's equivalent to wearing shorts at the movie theater (something i stopped doing after a blue light test on one of those news shows).

I quite liked your profile. That isn't surprising because we are apparently a 99% match! I don't know if you tend to go for the ladies that are that high of a match percentage (some aim in the 80 range so you aren't identical) but if you do, and I am your target audience, then you are doing wonderfully. I can't even…

You seem really earnest, smart and clever and sweet. I think your profile will sail over many heads, however. You will probably attract foodies (are you open to ladies who actually eat, if you know what I mean?) The one thing that's missing is your sensuality. Don't gloss over the fact that women want to be with a…

Just off the top of my head, from reading this post:

You seem like a cool guy! :) I'd message you. My only suggestion is that, since the internet makes everyone sound more serious than they probably intend, is that your second paragraph could look a bit like trying to show off how smart you are. I'm sure that in person, it would not sound like that, but such is the…

I don't think you need to worry about bumping the age range up. An age range that goes significantly below the person's age but only a few years above in age is a red flag for a lot of women, but an age range that skews older is much less of a concern. The stereotypical "cougar hunter" is a guy in his early twenties…

My favorite sections were your "I spend a lot of time thinking about" and the "most private thing I'm willing to admit" sections. They were funny and not generic, without being too wordy. I don't really spend more than a couple minutes on a profile, and if a section is more than a couple sentences, I start to skim.…

Two major pieces of feedback:
1. Stop being so self-deprecating in your photo captions! I looked at those first, like most women will, and they make you come across as extremely negative. If I wasn't aiming to be helpful overall, they probably would have made me lose interest altogether.
2. The tone you're striking in…

I'm no doctor, but from what I understand the juice cleanses aren't good for you and neither are crash diets because you gain the weight back and more.

My humble advice, which you can ignore, because it wasn't your question. I don't know you, or your goal, so I'm not gonna make any assumptions, but it's always good…

I'm not even gonna comment on the "social-awkwardness" aspect because if it's not an issue for you, it doesn't matter what your friends think (ok, I guess I just DID comment on that aspect). Anyway, for me, the bigger issue seems to be that it sounds like the romantic chemistry bit went missing so . . . does that just…

Eh, it sounds to me like you have good friends who are simply worried about you getting into something less than what you deserve. And you sound like a reasonable enough human to have thought it out—if you're interested and you genuinely broke up for no overly negative reason, I see nothing wrong with that at all.

On reddit, when girls post nude selfies there are guys who make the cringeiest comments.

That has happened to me. For one brief, glorious minute in 2013 everyone knew that I had not only watched "HoT BoyZ Make Luv VERY Swet" but liked it enough that I wanted to share it with the world.

I always have this fear with being permanently logged into FB that it will lead to me accidentally sharing some day.

That's true. Literally everyone who ever drank unpasteurized milk survived. They're still here! They won't freaking die! GO BACK TO YOUR GRAVE GRANDMA I'M NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN!

My anecdata trumps your statistical facts every day of the week!

My great grand pappy lived to be four hundred and twelve! Of course all 18 of his brothers and sisters died from milk poisoning before they were 10. So I guess if you average the ages out it's all good.