I feel a great disturbance in the Tort, as though millions of HIPAA compliance officers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

This is the central hypocrisy. Carrying a concealed weapon which can cause the inadvertent or aggravated death of a loved one is fine because of the vague possibility of protecting a man's property which is valuable and not to be prized away. Observing a drink with little effort to guard against the vague possibility…

Katie Couric was constantly "almost late for work"? So, she was on time?

I just choked on my iced coffee while laughing. Such delicious shade. Just delicious. Let Friend B know that she ain't shit/is totally amazing.

Mere mortals can only aspire to that level of shade.

That is some biblical shade-throwing, right there. Well played.

OK, that was FREAKING HILARIOUS! I loved his outraged: 'you're not even doing the count down!' comments through it. He was kinda horrified that she wasn't obeying the rules. And when he realized how tough it would be to get his bikini line done... I almost lost it. And God bless Ellen for reminding him 'your wife…

So after a long term relationship recently ended, I decided to just be like "fuck it" and joined OK Cupid. I've never done any kind of online dating before, I have a friend who actually met her husband off of that site (and they are happily married for four years now and have a kid), so what the hell have I got to…

I bet he smells like weed, bronzer, and lube. He's just got that vibe.

Uh, this is weird. I mean it's just a little too try-hard. I can't put my finger on why it's annoying to me, but I'm not crazy about this obvious, aggressively-masculine "sexiness" that requires grabbing your junk. Paul Newman is about as aggressively masculine as I want to get.

As someone who was an adopted baby and was born to a family that I had little in common with racially, I have to say that I completely understand her feelings. Bringing a child into an environment where people are not going to deal well with their race isn't good for the child, whether or not their reasoning is sound.

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to get these kinds of messages, ladies. Sometimes you have to wait months or even years to find out you've been dating an asshole, but these guys just let you know right away. It's practically a public service!

That is the most bad-ass line I've ever heard.

Is this flattery, Doree Lewak?

Oh God, I hope you said, "Me too!!!!!"

That's nice. Why don't you go join a thread about welfare for illegals?

Um? WOAH. That picture.

I love your comment! That is EXACTLY how I feel! Also what about the problem women face of the men they want not wanting to commit to them? I too would love to have someone I actually want to have sex with who I like who is super-keen on me but alas, the last guy I fell for was a massive womanising player who not only…

And real, actual women are telling you that your premise is bullshit. Personally, I would LOVE to get laid seeing as how it has been more years than I would care to admit. But even the "nice guys" and the "lonely guys" and the "omg, I am desperate! Why won't any women sleep with me??? guys" do not mean me (decently…