HUNTER PENCE'S SISTER MAKES $86 PER HOUR AT HOME AND WON'T SHARE SECRETS IN COMMENTS SECTION OF POPULAR WEBSITE

HUNTER PENCE DOESN'T WEAR BATTING GLOVES BECAUSE THEY "MAKE HIS HANDS FEEL YUCKY"

HUNTER PENCE PREFERS DANCES WITH WOLVES TO GOODFELLAS

Hunter Pence thinks Milk and Honey Original Cafe Mix is the best cereal ever.

If icing is a violation of NCAA rules, then I'm pretty sure college hockey will soon cease to exist ...

This isn't really a surprise. I've been a Celtics season ticket holder for 20 years, and according to the guys in my section every NBA referee is gay.

I know we no longer require commenters to be funny or have a point, but can we at least require the writers to do so?

Why is she freaking out like this? Her baby brother's already ugly.

To be fair, the student in question is Brandon Weeden.

LOL at the redundant four counts of DUI.

By grownups you mean Gawker commenters? lol +1

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: [Crashes into wall at 200 mph]

Your argument is strong because practicing celibacy is exactly the same as killing yourself.

Without suggesting that people can control who they are attracted to, I would like to point out that who you have sex with (or whether or not you have sex at all) is, in fact, a lifestyle choice.

It's amazing the Haifa team didn't shoot the children before confronting the protesters.

He could have dug him up and put a stake through his heart. But, alas, the joke would be on him, because Art's chest is empty.

I cannot conceive of ever being angry enough at a parent to use the death of a child as a weapon against them.

Or have 1st round talent... oh... wait.

This past season was the first time they weren't utterly loathsome in a long, long time.