And another screw for the license plate.

License plate soon to be optional!

I’m guessing it was actually a faulty turbo

“Requesting ground speed check...lol...”

Stick figure families:

Considering GM made 4,789,905,325 Geo Storms, it’s bizarre to me that not even 20 years later I might see one a month. MAYBE. But a Storm wagon? I saw one this morning parked on the street across from my office and I almost had an aneurysm. Perfect timing.

Mitsubishi Outlander, forgot about them until I went looking for a three row vehicle for my wife

IBM’s computer thinks in chocolate and vanilla. Sometimes what it knows is chocolate, sometimes it’s vanilla, sometimes it’s a swirl. Sometimes, though, the swirl melts; then you have to decide if there was more chocolate or more vanilla in that puddle. IBM just hired a fat kid that can tell the difference.

Kansas City and fatherhood have really taken a toll on you, huh man?

Jalopnik “reader” looking at Corollas and Camrys.

Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet: an okay looking car, spoiled:

This horrible thing on the first-gen Boxster. It’s an ugly, dull plank that sprouts out of an already awkward rear end, and it’s positioning, while functional, makes it look that much weirder. They more than made up for it on the current Boxster though; that car’s spoiler makes me feel tingly, and the pop-up looks far…

I just want officially licensed Jalopnik window stickers. That’s it.

Is this the geopolitical nerd version of “the dress”?

Alfas aren’t charming when it takes you two years to get your car in suitable shape to drive to the fucking Taco Bell.

Sometimes I really despise the things my profession does.

Sincerely Yours,
Marketing Guy in the Auto Industry


(That being said. I could see this ad actually convincing some dirty hipster who just got their first job as an Account Representative for Yelp to buy a Renagade over the Veloster or Soul they were already…

Explosions ruin them more.

Does it superimpose fire?

The bill most certainly will not sputter out and die. It will roll ever so silently to a halt.

My son was born on April 1st and that little disappointment continues to be the cruelest prank the universe has ever played on me.