I always order coffee on a plane. Let me explain why.

Kansas City is in Missouri. There is a small suburb also called Kansas City in Kansas, but when people think of Kansas City, they’re thinking of a place in Missouri.

And Kansas City is in Missouri.

It totally is exactly that, and it’s glorious!

He was wearing a Cubs hat.

Worst city nickname locals never use HAS to be “Frisco” for San Francisco. It’s only SLIGHTLY less annoying that it’s “the City” to locals (like somehow being 8-square miles built on a trash dump is superior enough to be “THE City” but whatever).
Also, correct take on chocolate and peanut-butter. I can’t get my wife…

Yes, women certainly do. That said, to imply that it’s ANYTHING close (frequency, vigor, etc.) to a male between the ages of 11 and 17 is crazy talk.

There’s a brewery about 4 blocks from me, right in the heart of the 20-30s child-having demographic in my little area, and you’ve described it to a T. I thought I could avoid it by going later in the day, any time after 5 or 6pm, but nope. It’s spit-up city, and I’m not talking about the drunks.

..the thought of masturbating children in the White House was out of our minds..

Huh.

I went to Gentile Brewing in Beverly, MA and it was packed with parents with babies hanging off the front of them or toddlers running around places. This is the issue John is referring to.

Kids at BREWPUBS is fine, as they are restaurants. I think he’s actually talking about breweries, which in my experience, aren’t much more than a large, semi-industrial space, either in the middle of nowhere or an industrial park. They don’t really serve food, but they might have snacks like artisan pork rinds and…

If parents are letting their kids run around a brewery tap room then they’re assholes. Our son is 3, and if we’re going to a taproom, we either go to one that we know is kid friendly and has games to play(Surly in MPLS especially) or we make sure to have the iPad fully charged so he can fry his brain cells while one…

*The Cubs championship gear is so fucking ugly. The Cubs have a good logo, good colors, etc. but then they drop this bold black lettering with gold outline on this shirt or hat of bright-ass blue and it’s just the most godawful looking thing. I don’t care if you are a fan, have some class. That shit looks tacky as…

I just heard a drinking buddy’s line yesterday. “My spank bank is too big to fail!”

Man, that Congressional health plan is really awesome. No wonder they don’t want to give the rest of us the single payer option.

In the immortal words of Adam Corolla, taking a shit is like “soft-serve going through a dwarve’s beard”

all the members of Congress get a free subscription to HUSTLER. Barron can just ask Paul Ryan all nice-like.

The guy who roots for the Minnesota Vikings thinks championship swag is ugly. My irony meter just blew up.

The guy turned down a contract because the Reds wanted him to shave his mustache. That kind of dedication deserves recognition.