Parity?

80s? Okay, late 70s early 80s then. McEnroe, Connors, and especially Borg. Yes, the pirate knickers/basketball shorts/split skirts on the men have Got To Go.

Wait... what?! Do y'all live in Opposite Land? Natural peanut butter is the only palatable kind. Just sprinkle a little extra salt on it.

I have a solution for you - toast your bread, then let your spoonful of PB sit on it for about a minute. Instant spreadability.

Well, since most of the words seemed to be from languages other than English, I don't know if that's a true handicap.

What is this Texas-Austin University of which you write? Did you mean UT Austin?

The uneducated and/or wilfully ignorant. And it's working!

"... Until It's Born, When the GOP Will Do It For You."

Sister, you're singing my song. At the regionals in 8th grade it was down to me and this one boy... and I went out on "vinaigrette" while he got "chrysanthemum," which pissed me off no end. Anyway, when that irksome winner and I met up again in high school, he told me he'd had a crush on me since beating me that day…

Extra bonus: if it's ripe, it helps you poop! Beat that, Gatorade.

You'll be stealing it from Dorothy Parker actually.

It's also part of a depressing pattern where the feminine form gets devalued to the point where even the women who hold that occupation won't use it. Like somehow actress = starlet. I hope it will reverse at some point.

A propos of nothing, I miss the word 'actress.'

Thanks, I needed that too (hope you don't mind, LolaLane). Spelling and swimming are the two areas for which my six-year-old does not show much enthusiasm, and it's been tough for me to bide my time and see if he'll warm to them. I'm kind of ashamed of my ego butting in, but I always want to think I've shared my…

Let's hang out in the virtual break room and make fun of our nonexistent coworkers. Here's some really good office coffee. (See? It's like reality, only better and with less driving.)

Social:

Yikes! Just to clarify, are you talking about eyelash dyeing or permanent eyeliner?

And the Pill.

Hearted, because brrrrr.

Aha, thanks! I was thinking it would be worth it but only if it were semi-permanent. But then how could it be, since lashes fall out? I might have more luck with permanent eyeliner... but that's even scarier.