THERE'S A PROPER WAY?!

"This works because we're partners in life" - well said.

That is definitely a dumping offence. It raises questions about how much mothering he'd expect from you. I literally cannot understand people who manage to become adults (and even live on their own for a while) without learning how to cook. HOW DO THEY SURVIVE?

Congratulations. Don't mind me over here softly weeping at the adorableness.

Talk about bad timing. I almost snorted water over my laptop thanks to you - well done.

THIS IS THE BEST GIF OF ALL THE GIFS.

You make this sound like a lot of fun, if done safely. Kind of tempted to give it a go!

I find the concept of sperm injections very unsettling.

By best, do you mean most traumatic?

This may well be my favourite response ever. Pure (unseedlike) gold.

Aristocrats do not eat stew. Dropping one's monocle into stew causes a frightful mess.

I could not read this all the way through. Excessive use of the word "seed" was making me feel ill.

The real question is, who does she want to play her in the film?

Me too. Sadly all I can afford at the moment are apathetic ferrets.

"were any of us good at sex the first time?"

I have never been more relieved.

It confuses me that one can be an MD and not understand that women are humans.

I read his "you whine a lot" and was wondering how it's possible to come up with an intelligent reply to such an inane comment. Nicely done. I'd like to congratulate you on your skill at dealing with unbearable douches.

I'd like to weigh in here. I'm a slim 20 year old with an amazing ass. Seriously, it's awesome - 'smooth and tight' and everything you've decided asses should be. But I also have some cellulite. Because I'm a human.

The fact that there are multiple people (me included) who thought, even briefly, that that might be likely says something really sad about the state of things.