I have a massive crush on Jordan Peele so I am inclined to hate Chelsea Peretti out of pure jealousy but I watched her standup special and it was fuuuuuunny so I can't hate her. Sigh. Still jealous, though.

Yeah, but "help me, my face is stuck like this and I'm dead on the inside" is too long.

I am deeply unsettled by Courtney Stodden, and even more so by that rictus of a smile. Who knew that in time, marrying OldGuy McMurderface would be the thing she did that creeped me out the least?

This makes me insane! I'm a court appointed special advocate for kids in foster care and considering how LITTLE you have to do to keep your kids (um, not put their safety/health/life in danger), it's astounding to me how many people completely fail at it.

GET A BABYSITTER IF YOU NEED TO GO OUT AND DRINK!! How fucking hard is that?? And if you can't get one...drink at home!!! Don't leave them in the car (no matter what the weather is) and drive them after you've been drinking!!

WTF. No. Sorry. This isn't a case of a single mom leaving her kids in a car so she can go to a desperately needed job interview. Which you still SHOULD NOT DO. This is fucking lazy parents going to a WINE TASTING and leaving their kids to freeze because...they didn't want to shell out for a babysitter? Fuck these…

This of course, is the original picture. Nastassja Kinski photographed by Richard Avedon. Sorry JLaw, can't beat this:

This was my weekends in the 90's

*Reads Demi Lovato's tweet*

If SVU is entering it's 17th season, why is every single episode on USA one that I've seen 20 times?

How are people still watching SVU? Or are they new viewers? How many stories can you watch about (mostly) women and children being victimized in terrible ways?

A "gala room." With a red carpet. And a brown dress.

aging.

I always had a thing for Geena Davis. Super smart, pro-level archer, gorgeous, great actress. She shoulda been bigger.

They can and do bite. I would never recommend them in a household with small children. They are not vicious, but they don't tolerate abuse.

I <3 Jessica Williams. A lot.

I am totally an "adopt, don't shop" kind of person but that dog is adorable and there is no way she buys from puppy mills.

Martha's new dog is adorable

How did Martha Stewart get a baby Ewok, and how do I get one?

Please post recipes for what the hell to do with elderflower liquer the rest of the year.