I'd probably pay for some fancy avocado toast if I could ever find it in a restaurant (even though I make my own).

I guess when you're marrying Satan this dress makes sense.. but still.

You make me sad that I have to exist in the same world as you.

I think it's a brand name.

We've got your back, Bitch Pudding.

Miracle! I had no idea you were the great defender of men. I thought I was. You bitch!

Sometimes I very slowly write "adam and eve" and then wait for the "ohhhhhhhhhhhh"'s.

Have you taught the Goblin Market?

Yeah. I taught the End of Alice once. ... never again.

I killed like eight of my own last week. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?!

I'm curious. We see videos of violence all the time. People brawling on the streets, etc etc. Or in stores. Do they sign releases for those images to be released? Is it because it happened on private property that you can sue for the release of those images? I'm genuinely curious how this all works.

HOW DID YOU KNOW I WEAR PINK DRESSES

You bring up a valid point but I would like to see your sources!

Could you give me the cliff notes?

Okay, I am convinced. That was pretty nuanced.

NOT ALL ASSHOLES.

Intriguing thesis, but may I suggest the counterargument:

Am I the only one who saw Beyonce step in front of Jay-Z? It did look like she was getting involved, even in a "dear lords stop" way.

I'm tychotronic@gmail.com. I'm running off to the store to pick up some cigarettes because my lungs have been talking shit about me to my liver and they need to be put in their place, but I should be around in a half an hour or so. And if you could pretty please dismiss this after you read it, as I feel like I'm going…

Well. I'd like to validate your lived experiences. I'm pretty open to that, in all seriousness.