I find the most of the people that defend monogamy as a great lifestyle choice are those without the assets to ensure a wealth of options.

Why do judges get to hand out these weird, totally unrelated sentences they just made up on a whim? Are they trying out implausible rom-com premises?

Of course fuller, rounder cheeks gives one a younger appearance. That's why I look like a teenager again when I have penises in my mouth.

Prediction: after eating sandwich #298, Eric tells Stephanie that it's not working, and he wants to see other people. "Other people" turns out to be a 23-year-old Trustafarian conceptual artist who doesn't cook.

“You women read all these magazines to get advice on how to keep a man, and it’s so easy,” he says. “We’re not complex. Just do something nice for us. Like make a sandwich.”

NEED THIS NOW.

I'm pretty sure Sofia Vergara can wear my dog's foamy grass vomit and look ok.

Snap Poll:

How many of you originally thought the man was the groom?

I did.

If I never got another blackhead, I would never again know the satisfaction of extracting a blackhead.