I’d like to think it’s all luck, but whenever I roll dice for anything, it usually favors the lower number end of the spectrum. It’s like I have loaded dice that works against me, always. I state this as set up.

You said they were “Identical Twins.”

So....She’ll be in the prologue for a few minutes, and then we’ll spend the next 2 hours staring at some generic young white military dude, I’m guessing?

It ended with anal sex. I don’t think they’re too worried about the geopolitical balance.

That or something akin to it works just fine.

Each Voyager probe is equipped with a copy of the famous “Golden Record,” a collection of sounds and data from planet Earth with instructions for any extraterrestrial who finds it explaining how to play it.

*Korn music intensifies*

My cousins and uncle came to our house for Christmas one year. They had an N64 with Star Fox and had never been past like the fourth level. I had never played before, but was intrigued and asked for a turn. Turns out I’m really good at Star Fox, and I ended up beating the game two days later (the day before…

I’m a paramedic, I deny no one care, as do the nurses and doctors I work with, regardless of how they came to their injury. Big macs everyday and a pack of Marlboros leading to your heart attack doesn’t get you denial of care. That said, this guy needs to be placed on a psychiatric hold for his suicide attempts, so we…

The internets are yours and yours alone. Enjoy.

Dad?

This...this is beautiful.

He was only off by two feet.

Remember when Pokemon were based off of animals? Pepperidge Farm remembers...

You’d think so. But when you’re a CDF Special Forces trooper dropping on a hostile planet and your BrainPal™ cognitive assistance system is disrupted, it’s good to have the TrueNorth™ Orientation Monitor to guide you towards your squad objectives. Of course, that’s largely academic if your BrainPal™ is disrupted…

Apparently 8mm at a time..

Obligatory:

Inject needle - extract DNA - fill in gaps with frog DNA - billions.