This right here is the Turbo Encapsulator

The speed that this reply is gaining stars makes it look like I just added three with one click. You're welcome

Han didn't really 'wield', he more clumsily stabbed and sliced.

At least at the end of next season they'll be able to claim that it's only been a year since they went a season without winning a single race.

That is a Lotus in the same way that I am Usain Bolt.

Yeah I know you conceded Schumacher, I think my typing speed is hindering my ability to keep in time with Kinja notifications.

The Alonso thing is by no means a done deal (apparently).
And I do get you about youth in F1. I was going to give you a big old list of people in their mid thirties when they won their last championships (one of them is Lamilton's bestest friend Herr Lauda), but then I realised it would be a little churlish, as only…

Another man who would like to talk to you about age and championships is someone you may have heard of

The article suggests nothing of the sort, but whatever.

Lamilton and Vettel I'll give you, but Alonso ain't no spring chicken either. There is less than a full year in age difference between them, so what makes him any different than Button in regards to your magical age qualifier?

Fortunately next year is two thousand and fifteen, not sixteen. Also, Damon Hill would like to have a word with you about your age limit on championship winning

Toro Rosso wouldn't take him. If you aren't on the list (of Red Bull young drivers), then you aren't allowed in the club.

Yeah and Nico has out qualified Lewis all season long. As JB said earlier in the season, you don't score points on Saturday...

Hopefully Monsieur Button is saying "Enough screwing around Ron, I WILL be driving that car next year, and if you actually put something worth half a crap in my hands I WILL win races for you."

Ooooooh, that IS a wild theory. It's fun though.

Noottttttttt quite the same...

That last sentence right there was my first thought.

Would the world be a terrible place if I wanted to use a fifty fifty mix of goat's cheese and Gruyère?

It was absolutely chucking it down yesterday in the south of England, if there was even half as much standing water there as on my walk to work those will have been needed.

I have wanted an H van for YEARS. This is even more awesome!

In this colour I would call this car beautiful