I got the ill nana (I laugh every time I say that, and I say it a lot)

Yeah, well, he didn't appear to be in the possession of more than 3.4 oz of liquid, so what are they supposed to do?

Now assume that all of the women who are coming out against him are telling the truth. What could they say to persuade you?

27 - 0?

My thought was: they must have some urgent rosebush fertilizing to do.

This time, please release the next edition before the next game starts!

Wait, the stuff at Spencer's is for sale?? I thought it was like a museum to everything that was wrong with the 90's?

I just donated to the real White Ribbon Campaign and made sure they knew it was because of this asshole. Everyone who can afford to should do the same.

Is there some sort of bat-signal we can send out to Anonymous? This site seems itchin' for a very justifiable DDOS attack.

I love the idea of Shade Court taking submissions from readers. Public feuds naturally have a degree of overtness to them, while private ones bring about more opportunities for subtlety. Which, if I've learned anything from Shade Court (and oh, I have!), is a key ingredient.

The lesson: when you're happy and on the internet, quit while you're ahead.

My thoughts on the subject: what the hell were you doing to your door that it required vacuuming?!?

I'm not sure if it's two-way, but I heard he communicates exclusively through flaming shrubbery.

10 PRINT "LOL"

Yeah, well, you can't be expected to know all the rules on your first day...

Shocked... SHOCKED to find a blanket dismissal of melons on this page.

Do girls find it attractive if a guy claims p***y is being thrown at him left and right?

a) "Super-relatable" was tongue-in-cheek. It's a joke—no one here can truly relate to this (beyond being really depressed after a breakup), which is why it's news to begin with.

There are five continents from Spain's perspective? That is interesting.

Heheh. Good point—I forgot about that. Yes, it's disputable, and depends upon your definition. Under the traditional dictionary definition of "major land mass," Australia is considered one of the seven. But Oceania is the proper modern geopolitical term for the area. These distinctions were lost on me as a child,…