What a beautiful picture you just painted.

You forgot step 1, which is “Feel free to move the toppings into a more evenly distributed shape.”

All I have to do to make frozen pizza better is drink a glass of cherry Kool-Aid with it. It instantly transports me back to my childhood, where I’ve just been called in from playing in the sprinklers in the yard on a hot summer day because the Red Baron pizza we’re having for lunch is ready, and the heat from outside…

God I can’t imagine caring this much about this issue. How much money is gonna be spent on this dick-measuring contest that maybe 500 people actually care about?

Eating an entire pizza every day for a long time, yeah, that’s going to catch up to you.

Thank you

I understood that reference.

Soda and beer aren’t essential.  They just aren’t.

Oh, my God, you’re right!

They’re chicken gefilte, batter fried.

Now if they were really smart they’d automatically put it in every settlement and require you to pay to get it out.

I’m pretty sure all the presidents between Andrew Jackson and Abraham Lincoln who nobody remembers did more in their first term of office than this schmuck.

Ugh I’ve run into this more often than not with renting places. I lived in this HUGE house that had one closet in the entire property. Each bedroom had a closet rod improperly installed by the landlords, so my first night after I moved in and hung up all my clothes it ripped out of the plaster while I was trying to…

Antibiotics are only effective in treating an underlying bacterial infection causing pnemonia. When pnemonia is caused by a viral infection they’re useless.

I still remember judging the shoppers around me on March 17th when I went out after the start of the shopocalypse. People were buying the absolute dumbest stuff, what are you going to do with 10 heads of lettuce? That’s not food! I’m standing in line at Sprouts with a case of canned chickpeas and everyone around me…

I think a lot of folks, like me, probably shopped multiple times a week so there was little back-stock to go bad at home.

I think millions of people subsisted on restaurant food mostly, yeah.

Well, at least the people who listen to him won’t be around to vote in November. 

I didn’t imply it was commutative.

By giving them your money, you’re rewarding their behavior.